The Beginning
by gizmo71
Summary: A prequel, set two years before A Second Chance. How did it all begin?
1. Chapter 1

She kissed him.

Last night, she kissed him and it was everything he both feared and believed it would be – And now he is completely and utterly screwed. Her lips, _my God…_ he doesn't dare recall how they felt; pressed timidly at first, but then determined, searching and ardent as soon as she felt the shift in him- when he let the last shred of his guard down and granting her full access. That one kiss has forced him to admit to himself something he has spent the last few months trying his best to deny- His ever-increasing attraction to her, but even more than that, his fierce desire and love for her too. _He wants her_, for that much is certain, and for that very same reason he finds himself packing a suitcase and booking the first available flight to Vermont. He's tried and failed to convince her, as well as himself, that whatever this is between them- is wrong; forbidden, especially in her parent's eyes. But her pursuit is relentless and his ability to resist her is unravelling fast. The only way he can prevent this from going any further, is to put as much distance between them as possible. So instead, he will reside at his log cabin, tucked away in the remote woods of Vermont. And once settled, he will approach the neighbouring hospitals, find himself a new job and then promptly bury all his feelings and thoughts for Olivia under the guise of work.

Earlier on, at the end of his shift, he tracked Eli down in his office. He had to break the news to him that he was moving to Vermont in person. But knowing his friend (of nearly 30 odd years), he suspects that he's going to see straight through this ruse of him needing some time away to _"rediscover"_ himself- and that he, Eli, would probably attempt to prise out the _real_ reason for his all so sudden departure. Which to be frank, he is ill prepared for... God forbid Eli ever found out the truth. For Eli would never forgive him, because falling for his best friend's daughter, his 21-year-old daughter at that, would surely tear their friendship and worlds apart.

"_Aaaah Fitz_, what's up, earlier on in surgery you said you wanted to speak with me…?"

He clears his throat. "_Yes_, _well_, I don't really know how to say this, but I've just handed my notice in to Sally this evening, starting with immediate affect and…" Eli immediately cuts him off, not even giving him the chance to finish…

"Hold up- I'm sorry, _come again_, what on earth do you mean that you've handed in your notice- where the hell has this come from?"

Fitz grimaces, wracked with tremendous guilt, this web of lies was not going to be an easy one to spin… "I just need to get away Eli, lately I have been feeling stagnant and uninspired with my work, and I feel that maybe spending some time in Vermont, to regroup and possibly try and reconnect with Karen, would probably do us both a world of good."

"Well, of course, but surely you'd ask for extended leave instead, however you've gone and handed in your resignation, so when you say _time_ Fitz, what sort of _time_ are we actually talking about?"

"A year or two, maybe longer…?" To his own ears he sounds as if he's clutching at straws, uncertain, not really knowing the real answer himself.

Eli looks at him sceptically, as if trying to figure him out. "That's a fair bit of time to be gone, my friend… For example, what about your house here, in DC, that's a long time to keep it empty; do you plan on selling it?"

He shakes his head vehemently, that house held too many memories… "No, I don't wish to sell up and leave forever… and even if I've gone for a while, it's not as if I will struggle to maintain its upkeep and bills, after all, I've got all that money left from my father's estate to keep me afloat for a while, _so_…"

"_True_, indeed you do, but still, I cannot fathom as to why you're choosing to do this now and so seemingly out of the blue… _Tell me_, is there something you're neglecting to say?"

Feeling backed into a corner somewhat, Fitz retorts agitatedly… "Eli, I'm not being funny, but you of all people should understand the importance of reconnecting with your child. Therefore, I think re-connecting with Karen should be reason enough for me to leave, _don't you?_"

"Of course, but I'm just saying that something feels a little amiss about this move… I mean, should I be concerned - you're not sick, are you?"

And cue Liv.

As if this moment with Eli wasn't tricky enough to contend with, both of them are now interrupted by Olivia, walking straight into Eli's office and straight into their conversation…

She looks from her father and then back to Fitz again… "_Sick!_ Are you okay Fitz?" She queries, with mounting concern, having only heard the tail end of their exchange.

"No, I'm not sick…" Fitz assures her.

"But he _is_ leaving us and moving to Vermont." Eli adds.

"_What!_ When?"

The last thing he wanted was for her to find out like this; he had planned to go around to her flat later this evening and tell her face to face; tell her why he believes going to Vermont is the right thing to do, and therefore he's riddled with regret for not dealing with this more sensitively... If anything, she should have been the first to know.

He can barely look her in the eyes, which she doesn't fail to notice either, as finally the penny drops and she realises what is actually taking place here... He is leaving Washington DC because of her.

And she's livid.

"I have a flight booked for tomorrow, to Vermont," he confesses, wishing he could reach out to her, to pull her aside and fully explain his decision to leave and then offer her some level of comfort, do anything to remove the hurt and betrayal weighing in the depths of her eyes. He can tell she's exercising a great deal of restraint, trying not to give the game away to her father, by revealing just how much this news is affecting her… "_I see_, _well_, I hope you have a safe flight… _I_... I shall be sad to see you go Fitz…"

"I agree, as will I... " Eli chips in, totally oblivious to the tension building between his only daughter and best friend. "I tell you what, as soon as you get yourself settled, I'll speak to Maya and we can arrange to take some time off work, and come and visit… Liv, you could come along too if you like, we could make it a family trip… Stop off in New York for a few days too maybe, see the sites, do some shopping…"

In acquiesce, Fitz gives him a strained smile… "_Yes_, that would be lovely", he somehow manages to force out.

Whereas Olivia can't bear to stay in this room for a second longer, she needs to get out of here and fast… "_Right_, well I better go… Quinn's cooking dinner and I don't want to keep her waiting…" Eli leans over and gives her a hug, "Goodnight sweetpea"

"Night Dad…" Slowly, reluctantly, she pulls out of her father's embrace and turns to face Fitz. With her back to her father, she successfully shields him from the heart broken expression on her face, as she now looks at Fitz, dead in the eye.

He swallows hard, the vision of her barely keeping her emotions in check is crippling him.

But before she falls apart, she places her hand on his shoulders, and gives him a gentle kiss on the cheek, to which she then whispers a rather solemn… "_Goodbye_."


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

She should have known he would react like this- run away and pretend it's not even happening. But it is happening, and yes, it's scary, but just as equally it's exhilarating and passionate and probably the realist thing she has ever experienced with a man. God knows, she's had her fair share of men, or more accurately- boys, and sure- she's had fun, and at times she has even found herself catching feelings for a few of them. But with Fitz this was something different, something new. Regardless of what others may think or say, they have a connection, a mutual love and understanding for each other that exceeds the boundaries of him just being a close family friend, or dare she say it, a substitute father figure. Of course, it would be fair to say that Fitz has always cared for her; in fact, growing up, she would often turn to him for his advice, especially in her teens when she struggled to connect with her own parents-with her promiscuity being the main catalyst for most of their tryst. So when she found herself pregnant at 19 and complications surrounding her termination brought her into the operating theatre, Fitz was the one who really came through for her. Whereas all she received from her father was scorned judgement, from Fitz she was given support and counsel. Looking back at it now, that low point in her life became the real turning point in their relationship. Following that, their bond grew even stronger and they became incredibly close- and somehow his desire to protect and care for her had evolved into something a lot more personal. He helped her to get back on her feet and through positive challenge, he pushed her to want more; to strive for higher heights and become a better person. If it wasn't for his influence and encouragement she wouldn't be training to become a nurse right now.

_Honestly, after all he's done for her, how could she not fall for him?_

It's not that she does't understand his reservations, she does. She's not that silly to pretend that their relationship is in any way conventional, because it's definitely not. In the beginning, much like Fitz, she too had tried to fight her growing feelings for him, but ultimately the love she harboured for him was far too intense to ignore. And after they shared that kiss, she now knows that he can no longer ignore it either.

That's why she has to go and see him, to help him realise that running away is not going to change the fact that he loves her, and that she loves him too. However, she also recognises that what she's about to do will not be an easy feat. For a man with so many appealing qualities and sound advice, he is also a very conflicted character, and is often prone to retreating inside himself, especially when faced with difficult decisions, stress and sadly in his case- grief. After the unexpected death of his wife Mellie, for years he had shied away from the prospect of ever falling in love again and opted to become somewhat of a recluse instead. He had shut down completely, and as a result of this he even pushed his own daughter away. In fact, apart from her father, Fitz lets very few people in; she being just one of the few exceptions. But over the last few months, mainly due to her own persistence, without even conscientiously knowing it he allowed her to get right under his skin, deep enough to re-open his heart to the prospect of love again.

He's come so far, and she has worked too hard to get him there, therefore she'll be damned if she allows his fear to get in the way of their potential happiness. She doesn't care that she's nearly half his age, nor does she care that he's her dad's best friend, all she cares about is giving him this chance to love and be loved by her in return. Despite the many odds stacked up against them, she can still foresee a real and tangible future for them. And in her eyes that is worth fighting for.

When she left her father's office, having been told he was going to Vermont, at that the time all she could register was anger. She was so incensed, that when he did call her later on that night, to possibly explain, she refused to answer the phone. She couldn't bare to listen to his weak justifications for leaving, or that what they did was a mistake. She had heard it all before, and after that kiss, she had hoped that she would never have to hear it again. But anger soon turned to despair and by the time Quinn came home, she was a sobbing mess. Quinn was the only one that knew about her and Fitz, she had figured it out after inadvertently walking in on them having dinner together, alone and looking rather intimate at that. That had been before the kiss.

After some careful prompting from Quinn, tearfully, Olivia explained the events of the last two days, in that she had kissed Fitz, but then, like a coward he has chosen to run away to Vermont.

"Come on Liv, you didn't really think it would be that easy, did you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, lets face it, as much as that kiss was a revelation, it would have also scared the hell out of Fitz... He allowed himself to loose control, which is unfamiliar territory for a man like him. Not to mention his fear of your father finding out. So he did what he does best, he ran Liv. And trust me, him leaving doesn't mean that he don't love you, on the contrary he's probably left because he does."

"I know he loves me..." Liv responds wistfully.

"And you love him too, _right?_".

"I do... very much so."

Quinn can't help but smile at her, before parting with a few more words of wisdom... "At the end of the day, you can't choose who you fall in love with, because if you could- your dad's best friend would hardly be your ideal choice, and as much as I thought the idea of you two together was crazy, I can also see just how much he means to you... And if he means that much to you, then you can't give up now... You have to go and get him Liv."

To be honest, she didn't need much persuasion, although Quinn was a hundred percent correct... So before she could second guess herself and change her mind she was on the phone to the hospital, swapping her shifts around and booking a direct flight to Vermont. She knew exactly where to find him. She and her family had spent thanksgiving there once with Fitz a few years ago. It was the perfect place to retreat to, surrounded by picturesque landscape; the cabin held a quaint and peaceful aura about it. Plus, so far removed from the outside world, it would be the ideal place to hide or run away to- Fitz's solution to everything.

And so, after an hours flight, and a forty minute taxi journey to the lodge, she suddenly finds herself standing outside his door, a small suitcase clutched in one hand and the other hand poised to knock. A warm glow coming from the upstairs windows being all the confirmation she needs to tell her that he is in.

It's now or never, she thinks and with bated breath she knocks the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

He can't imagine who would be knocking at this hour, in fact the only time anyone comes knocking at this door is by invite only, or the mailman with an expected delivery. He's not expecting either. Cautiously, he makes his way downstairs. The porch light is on, but he cannot make out a figure- he hopes it's just someone lost and in need of directions and not someone looking for trouble. The beauty of living somewhere so remote is the peace and quiet and solitude that comes along with it, the downfall however, you have no neighbours to hear you scream.

With the chain still in place, he opens the door, slightly ajar and peers out. But nothing or no-one could have prepared him for whom would be on the other side…

He stares at her aghast. "_Olivia?_"

"_Hi_…"

"What are you doing here?" She winces by how abrupt he sounds; he doesn't mean it, but justifiable he's rather taken back by her presence… "I'm sorry, I didn't mean… look, hold on, let me just get the chain". He closes the door briefly, to remove the hindrance to the door and inhales deeply; his nerves are shot.

_He can't believe she's here._

He reaches for her case and steps aside, allowing her space to pass… "Come in."

"_Thanks_". To his ears, she sounds as nervous as he feels.

Wordlessly, he leads her into his living room and offers her a seat, whilst he takes up the seat opposite her. Eventually, in a softer and more approachable tone he breaks the silence between them and asks… "Why have you come here Liv?"

"I came to speak to you," she replies simply… "and I wanted to know why you saw fit to move all the way out here and leave me, without so much as discussing it with me."

"Hold on- I tried to speak you, but you refused to talk to me remember."

She sighs… "Please don't be obtuse about this, you know exactly what I mean, why didn't you speak to me before the decision was made… Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

"I'm sorry Liv, it really wasn't my intention for you to find out that way…"

She interjects in sheer frustration… "You're missing the point, we kissed Fitz- and instead of allowing us time to figure out what that could possibly mean for us, you chose to run away…"

"I did not run away…" He defends, "I left because I knew that one of us had to put an end to this madness…"

She can't help but feel hurt by this statement… "_Madness?_ There's nothing mad about it Fitz, we kissed because we can no longer deny our feelings for each other…"

He shakes his head… "_No Liv_, this is wrong, you're my best friend's daughter, I'm old enough to be your father… even you can't deny that what we are doing is wrong… _Your dad…_"

"_Stop it!_" She exclaims, rising to her feet in indignation, she's had enough, she WILL NOT allow him to continue using her age and her father as an excuse for them not to be together. "Stop bringing him into this, it's not his business any more, I'm 21 years old- I can make my own decisions and you should make yours… this is about you and me and no-one else…"

He too has risen to his feet, matching her, slightly thrown by her directness and her ability to strike a nerve… "You are naive to believe that this could only ever be about us, I have been friends with your father longer than you've been alive, never mind the fact that I've made promises to your dad, to look out for you… _and this…_ _this_ is certainly not what he had in mind, if anything he would see this as a huge betrayal and that I have taken advantage of you…"

She moves closer, determined to get him to open-up, to stop him from hiding and finally admit how he feels about her. She stares at him intensely... "But you didn't take advantage Fitz, I wanted you to kiss me… _I want you…_ don't you see that?" She reaches for him, cupping his cheek in her hand. He's literally trembling, struggling to keep control… _God_, it would be so easy to give in, but then he thinks better of it- he can't, because it will only get more complicated if he does and this was messy enough. "_No_ _Liv_…" He grabs her by the wrist to prise her hand away from him. Desperate to gain some distance between them and some clarity… "It was a mistake, I shouldn't have kissed you…"

But she, also determined in her resolve will not back down either. "It was not a mistake, it was beautiful- everything I thought it would be... Look me in the eye and tell me you don't feel the same... because I know you do…" At that point he turns away from her, unable to face her and ultimately face himself.

"Look at you… you can't do it, can you…" She's taunting him now; deliberately pushing his buttons, doing whatever it takes to break through to him. "You thought moving out here would solve everything, but you're wrong, you could have moved to Australia and we would still feel the same- so why are you putting us though all this pain… I love you Fitz and I know you love me too... Tell me I'm wrong…"

_No_. He can't do this again._ He won't._

Absently, he finds himself looking down at his old wedding ring, fighting back the fresh tears threatening to spill… Olivia follows his line of sight, and with that a huge realisation comes to light. _Could it be that his fear to admit his love for her stems from a place even deeper than she originally thought? Was his reluctance less to do with her age and her father and more to do with Mellie? _

She's soon to find out, when he attests… "What do you know about love Liv, you haven't got a clue, or even begin to understand how terrible it can be... to put your life into the hands of another person, _completely_... This is not love; it's a game, a dangerous little game…"

_"You are going to have to let go of her at some time..."_ The words slip from her mouth unbidden. And he has gone deathly pale.

_Had she gone too far?_ _Maybe..._ _but so be it_, she thinks savagely; if it's his dead wife that is really standing in their way, then it's high time that they address it… No matter what, she's got to see this through.

"_What?_"

"_Mellie_, your wife… when will you move on Fitz?"

He's reeling. "Don't you dare bring my wife into this!"

"_Oh no_, of course not, because that will involve facing the truth... How could I ever hope to measure up, how could anyone measure up to her... She's on a pedestal Fitz… _DEAD!_"

Like a bull to a red flag, her words have enraged him; she's hit so close to the bone that he's unable to mask his hurt or grief; and all he has at his disposal right now is the ability to lash out… "That's not the only advantage she has over you, Mellie meant everything to me… And you, well you're nothing but a silly girl, looking for her father's attention…"

As soon as he's said it, he instantly wishes to take it back, because she looks so wounded, although, he knows her well enough to tell that she is also trying her very best to remain strong, and in proof of that she attacks back just as powerfully… "At least I'm not afraid to admit to you how I feel, or do anything about it… You however are nothing but a _COWARD!_"

It's true of course, he is a coward, because he's absolutely petrified that if he does give in, and it goes horribly wrong it will surely destroy him, and ruin her in the process too… "Why are you doing this Liv, why can't you just leave it be…" he begs her. Feeling overwhelmed herself, Liv pauses for a second, as she makes the decision to take a different approach, one that may risk losing him altogether... "_Fine_, if you want me to leave, then I'll make it simple for you… tell me that you don't love me, and I'll go". A lone single tear, runs down her cheek as she whispers gently… "Tell me Fitz, and I'll walk away and never look back."

"_Liv, please…_"

"Say it Fitz…" She steps closer.

"_Stop_…"

"_Just say it!_" She cries, and in the midst of her vulnerability, her face is flushed and awash with tears; her passion has never been so raw or unrestrained. In fact, truth be told, she's probably never looked more beautiful; it's enough to unravel him completely…

"I CAN'T- _I can't say it…_"

By this point she's standing directly in front of him, with only a breath of air separating them… so close she can feel the pulsating heat from his body penetrating her senses… "_Why Fitz_… Why can't you say it?"

"_I… I…"_

"Trust me… _please_…" she implores. "Fitz, you can't keep living your life like this- never letting anyone in…"

He swallows hard, "It's too late Liv, because you're already there…"

Both of their hearts are racing, hers in anticipation, his in nerves. But first, she has to hear him say it... _ "Tell me you love me…" _

Unable to take his eyes off her, utterly transfixed, he realises that can't fight her any longer; resistance is futile. And now it's his turn to gently cup her face in the palm of his hand, as finally, he professes his truth… "I love you Liv."

The smile she gives him renders him speechless... "And I love you Fitz..." And with that he goes for her, and she lets him.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

Sleep had evaded him, he feels boneless and tired, but slumber is not necessary. Just watching her sleeping form has him feeling complete.

Slowly, stroking his hand up and down her back, he follows her vertebrae with his index finger as he listens to the soft breaths she takes as she sleeps. His eyes take in every facet of her face, storing them away for safe keeping, like he did last night. He doesn't want to forget a thing, because it had been the most intense and passionate night of his life. And now he wishes to capture the look in her eyes, the moment she wakes up. Greedily, his thumb gently brushes a tendril of hair away from her face. Her hair seems to fall perfectly on her face, but he needs to touch her again just to assure himself that it is not a dream.

She begins to stir, and he suddenly wonders if she'll feel uncomfortable or embarrassed around him when she wakes up. Various thoughts whizz through his mind as how best to overcome the potential problem – should he stay in the room or preferably leave the room to give her some privacy for a few moments. But he need not worry, because as soon as her eyes flutter open, she gives him a heart-stopping smile.

_"Hi…"_

_"Hi,"_ he replies, with a smile to match hers, as he leans in and plants a delicate kiss to her lips.

_"Hmmmmm"_, she sighs.

"How are you feeling?" He asks a little cautiously, aware of how demanding he was of her body last night; like a man starved, once he had her he could not seem to have her enough. Although equally, she too gave herself freely and did not withhold anything from him, and at times inadvertently revealed that although she had several partners in the past, there was clearly something lacking from their lovemaking, because last night it was obvious that she experienced pleasures of the body she had yet to experience before.

She snuggles into him, draping her hand across his torso, as she reveals… "I have never felt more content". He smiles with male pride and with her head now nestled below his chin, he gives her a gentle kiss to her forehead… "I wasn't too rough, was I? I only ask, because last night when you went to the bathroom, I noticed you grimace and…"

She places her finger to his lips… "_Ssssh_… Yes, I admit, I am a little sore, but rough you were not; amorous very; demanding definitely; but I would not have you any other way. You were perfect, I believe you have spoilt me for all other men".

"I should hope so," he retorts in mock indignation; his eyes dancing, pleased that she is undeniably thrilled at his lovemaking. In fact, as they lay there, he notices that she carries the evidence of his love making all over her. She had been drenched in his love, branded from the love bite he left on her right shoulder, to her swollen bee stung lips caused from his ardent kisses. He suspects they could both do with freshening up a little, and then some breakfast to replenish their energy. "Shall we take a shower?" he asks, gazing at her with adoration.

_"Together?"_ Her eyebrows shoot up, her tone, one of uncertainty.

Nodding, he again finds himself watching her face, trying to gauge her feelings at this new development, knowing that she is not even trying to be coy; she's just never done this before. She nods her head shyly as a slow blush starts to work its way all the way from the base of her throat to the roots of her hair. Confidently, he gets up and stands before her baring all, after what they shared together he has shredded all his inhibitions, and now in the early morning's light, he's encouraging her to do the same… He holds his hand out for her, silently requesting that she joins him, and bravely, yet ever so slowly, she removes the covers, takes his offered hand and quickly moulds herself to him. He rubs his hands along her back, to soothe her nerves… Meanwhile, he can't help but steal a glimpse of her naked back and smooth flanks… "You're beautiful", he whispers into her ear, before leading her to the bathroom.

As they step into the shower, it's now his turn to blush, because she's standing under the spray of the shower, looking radiant, and wreaking havoc on body… He does not wish to reveal his current physical state, but he lacks the means to hide it… He watches her eyes as they lovingly caress his face, then move to his chest and beyond. "_Fitz_"' she exclaims in disbelief, "you are insatiable".

"Only for you", he declares, pulling her body flush against him and letting her feel, for herself, the extent of his arousal, and in tandem he seeks out her lips, to steal several small kisses again and again and again. Every muscle in his body is now tense and trembling with need. He wants her again, right here in the shower, but he decides against it. In fact, he is insistent that his body obeys his command, because as much as she appears willing to accept such advances, he knows he was relentless last night; greedy in pleasuring her; he had indeed ravished her, so he's certain that she needs a rest from him.

'I love you Livvie' he says, his voice shaking with the force of his emotions, the words almost seem inane, incapable of communicating and expressing the true extent of his heart's desires… "But I think we should _just_ wash"

"You can have me, if you want to…" Her voice, thick as molasses hitches as he bends down and kisses the base of her throat, distracting her and himself from her invitation. She purrs gently in response to his ministrations, which now acts as short wiring to his brain. For his troubles, the next thing he feels is the gentle pulsing of the warm water showering over his head and shoulders, running down his back as she steps back and pulls him under the spray with her… "Let me wash you…"

She pours some shower gel into her hands and starts by washing his chest in circular movements, then she moves upwards, walking her fingertips along his collarbone and then back down again, tracing the muscles in his strong arms. She realised last night, that nothing in his physique would suggest his age, it's obvious to her that he has taken great care of himself over the years, that much is evident from his well toned and sculptured body. Feeling turned on, she allows one of her hands to stray to his lower half, wanting to feel more, but he quickly grabs holds of it, halting her in her exploration… "_Liv_" he warns.

_"What?"_ She looks at him innocently, as if not fully aware of the effect she is having on him. The little minx. "Okay, turn around so that I can wash your back" she invites, to which he complies, and lets go of her wandering hand. He takes a swift intake of breath and shudders when she begins to massage the taught muscles in his neck and back… "That feels so good…" He sighs in approval. He honestly cannot comprehend how lucky he is, to be here right now, with her, like this… After a while, they switch roles, and she allows him to wash her body in the same vain. He doesn't want to leave an inch of her untouched. He even washes her hair, running his fingers through it, massaging her scalp, keen to indulge her in every way… She trembles when his hands move to her breast, which are full and aching, her nipples standing to attention like ripe little raspberries, practically begging him to take a taste…

_"Fitz please…" _

By exercising an enormous amount of restraint, he forgoes doing so, and continues with the task in hand. He bends down in front of her, his face now in-line with her womanhood, whilst he starts to wash her legs and inner thighs, being careful not to touch her where she really wants him to. But, as he runs his soapy hands over her shapely legs, he spots further evidence of his lovemaking from last night. Apologetically, he places a kiss to each of the slightly bruised areas, feeling guilty for his fervent passions. She, however, can't hold back the moan that escapes her lips, because he's driving her wild; he also notes that her legs have begun to shake… "Stop teasing me Fitz, I can't take it…" she pleads with him huskily.

In answer to her plea, he quickly rises and captures her whimpering lips with his own, kissing her into silence. When the need to breathe causes them to part, she stares into his eyes and without a sense of doubt, she asks him to make love to her.

"Are you sure Liv?" His voice is reduced to a grunt, hoping he doesn't sound quite as desperate as he feels, as she starts to torment him, by gently tugging on his chest hairs and rubbing her nose against his throat, whilst he tries to limit her errant hand from straying again... Ignoring his attempts to remain a gentleman, she continues to nuzzle his throat and wriggles closer, causing the muscles in his neck to stand out under the strain of fighting against her onslaught. 'Liv, you said so yourself, you are in some discomfort..." his voice hisses, between his clenching teeth.

Knowing that he is fighting a losing battle at doing the honourable thing, he tries to distract her by running his fingers down the small indentations of her spine until his hand is splayed in the base of her lower back. "Livvie, we need to eat first…" is his next excuse, but she raises her eyes to him pouting in annoyance.

He cannot resist her. "Liv…" he groans breathlessly, as he gives in wholeheartedly to her wishes and kisses her ravenously. His chest heaves as he fights to control his breathing, lifts her up and steadies them against the tiled wall.

"Take me Liv" he pleads with her, as he gently holds her hips and she guides him home… Her sigh of pure satisfaction tells him all he needs to know as they move in unison to the rhythm of love.

When the heated pounding of their hearts finally slow down and they stir from their positions of post-completion; she rewards him with languid kiss and stretches out like a feline.

Never taking his eyes off her, he turns off the shower, rubs her down and wraps her up in a towel. Effortlessly, he sweeps her off her feet and carries her back into his bedroom. Then, with great care, he gently places her down on the bed, and as per her request, massages her pliant body all over with a lovely scented moisturiser that she told him to get from her bag.

Afterwards, both fully sated he tucks her back into bed, and spoons himself behind her, skin to skin. Breakfast long forgotten, as they both fall asleep pleasantly exhausted.

Unfortunately, neither one of them are aware that in a matter of 24 hours, their blissful bubble of happiness is about to be blown wide open.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Eventually, after a few more hours of sleep, the pair manage to pull themselves from the bedroom and go downstairs to rustle up some food. Although, if it was left up to Liv, she would have happily stayed in bed. Her body is exhausted. Honestly, she has lost count of how many times they've made love… And Fitz, _well_, _words simply fail her_, because there are no words accurate enough to summaries his insane ability to bring her to sexual completion, over, and over again… He is a phenomenal lover, attentive, passionate, amorous and highly skilled. Akin to a bottle of fine wine, he's clearly got better with age. He did things to her, that she's never experienced before, and despite her aching limbs, she would welcome his advances again. She can't get enough of him, he makes her feel like a wanton woman, utterly ravenous for his touch. Obviously, everybody knows that a relationship cannot solely revolve around sex, but taking their sexual compatibility into consideration, as well as all the other feelings she has developed for him, of which- led to her coming here in the first, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is everything she could ever want in a man. And for the first time ever, she believes she's found the person she's supposed to spend the rest of her life with.

She loves him; she's in love with him, and now that he's finally on board- heart, body and most importantly mind; all fully invested, she is ready to discuss a plan for moving forward.

"I thought you weren't hungry," he teases heartily, twisting his spaghetti on his fork and taking a mouthful himself.

"Ha ha, very funny, clearly I underestimated just how zapped my body is of energy, _I wonder why?_" she winks at him.

Trying to keep a serious face, he puts his hands up in the air, in surrender. "Sorry, guilty as charged; but don't worry, I will take full responsibilities of my actions, and vow to never do it again…"

"_Aaaay now_, you take that back!" She exclaims in good humour. "If anything, you can make it up to me tonight Mister…"

He smirks, "Oh I plan to…" But then, something suddenly dawns on him… "_Well_… that's if you're staying, _what_ _I mean is_, I want you to stay, but I don't know what your plans are, we didn't really discuss that last night."

She's glad he's brought it up, as it now gives her the platform to discuss their future.

But on this matter however, she hopes he won't find her actions too presumptuous. "_Well_…" She starts sheepishly… "I only bought a one-way ticket here,_ I guess_, I was hoping that if it all worked out, I wouldn't have to buy a ticket back…"

"_I see_," he smiles. "You were never going to take no for an answer, were you?"

"Probably not," she admits. And to him, he finds it's positively endearing. After all, she is the perfect combination of strength, fearlessness, femininity, vulnerability, and of course beauty; a real force to be reckoned with. "I like your style," he tells her warmly, leaning in and stealing a kiss from her lips. "_So_, are you saying that you want to stay here in Vermont, with me…"

"It if means I can be with you, then yes…"

"But Liv, your whole life is based in DC, your friends, your job… _your parents…_"

Nonchalant, she shrugs her shoulders. "How I see it, the same could be said for you, and yet you're here… _Look Fitz_, we all know Dad is going to be the fly in the ointment, there's no hiding from it, but I suppose having some distance from him, will help us all re-adjust..."

He can't lie, regardless of where they choose to lay their heads, he doubts that Eli will _EVER_ accept their relationship, which is going to be incredibly hard on both of them. However, more pressingly, he finds himself focusing on just how much Olivia is willing to give up to be with him, and it doesn't seem fair… "Liv, we don't have to stay in Vermont, if you want to go back to DC, then we can go back together…"

She shakes her head in disagreement, because being away from her father is the only way this will work; she knows Fitz all too well, and the pressure of living right under her father's scrutiny, will prove to be too much for him, and she's not willing to risk that. "No Fitz, let's stay here… Vermont will give us the freedom we need to grow, whereas DC will surely suffocate us. I want us to stay…"

He knows there's no point in second guessing her, she's proven time and time again that she is strong-willed, and more than capable of making up her own mind- however, he must be certain… "Liv, are you absolutely sure about this?" Of course, she answers him with such conviction, that he doesn't dare question her again…

"Fitz, I've never been more certain about anything else in my life, I love you, and I want us to start our lives here, in Vermont, together."

Well that solves that then. As long as she's happy, he's happy too.

After they finish their lunch, Fitz persuades Liv to follow him on walk. Promising nothing too strenuous, he takes her on a mapped-out footpath, heading towards the fishing lakes. It's a place he often like to go to, to think. It's early spring, so although the sun is out, the air remains crisp; his favourite temperament for a walk. Plus, the woods are particularly beautiful this time of year. With all the new buds coming out on the trees, they are fortunate enough to be graced with an assortment of fresh, bright and glorious greens; a feast for the eyes.

"It's beautiful here…" Liv reveals in awe, "I can see why this place drew you in."

"Growing up, Dad and I would often come to Vermont for camping trips… It was our little escape, I loved it then, and I still love it now…" He reminisces. "Then, after I married Mellie, it was always my dream to build a cabin out here in the woods, somewhere where we could all escape to, as a family, when the hustle and bustle of city life got too much… But I never got around to building it, I was always too busy… Then Mellie died, and then like a fool I also managed to lose my daughter in the process… I suppose, I no longer saw the point in building it… It wasn't until many years later; shortly after my father died, before the idea of building it resurfaced… _You see_, it had been my father's dying wish for me to spread his ashes here…"

"Yes, I remember…" She recalls her dad going with him.

"Understandably, he wanted to be laid at rest in the place he felt most at peace… _And then_, after some evaluation and encouragement from your Dad- I used a small portion of my father's estate to build the cabin, I thought it could be a fitting tribute to his memory instead."

With her arm circled around his waist, tunnelled underneath his coat for warmth, she pulls him in closer for a cuddle… "It was a lovely idea Fitz… I think you father would have loved it…" Despite his melancholy, he gives her a warm smile as he bends down and kisses her on her forehead, squeezing her back just as tightly, to immerse himself in her comfort… "I think so too."

She lays her head against his chest and sighs… "Who knows…" she adds softly, with a slight catch to her voice… "maybe one day, this place will become the vision you had originally intended it for…"

_Children with Liv... now wouldn't that be something, he thinks._

-x-

Later that evening, they spend the night sprawled out on the sofa, relishing in each other's presence and the warmth of the open fire… The TV is on, and Liv is chuckling at a drunken Ross- on a Friends re-run; whereas Fitz, doesn't have a clue what is going on, because he's too transfixed by Liv. She's curled up beside him, with her head nuzzled in his lap and he cannot take his eyes off her; everything about her is intoxicating, the way she laughs, the way she smells, the way her body seems to fit so perfectly against him. He has to pinch himself, unable to comprehend that in the last 48 hours: he had resigned himself to life lived alone, left his job, left his home in DC, moved to Vermont, and then, without warning, had all his fears challenged and confronted by this young slip of girl, to whom he later confesses his love to, and then had the honour and pleasure of making languid love to all night, and all morning. No wonder he feels like he's dreaming. These last few months have been an emotional roller-coaster, filled with highs and lows, thrills and spills, twist and turns and a massive rush of heart pumping adrenaline. And Liv; his sweet baby, she is full of so much faith and optimism, it's almost infectious, but as much as she's made him feel like a changed man, by encouraging him to see the world through her eyes, he is still very much aware that he is, and will always remain, a man of great caution- and because of this- he finds himself choosing to live for the moment, to simply enjoy every precious second he has with Liv, because if life has taught him anything, nothing remains this perfect for long.

Innocently, but effectively giving him respite from his thoughts- Liv turns around in his lap and breaks out into a sleepy yawn. The Friend's theme music now playing in the background… It was time for bed.

He looks down at her adoringly, tucking an errant strand of her hair behind her ear… "You ready to go up?"

"I am, _but Fitz_, would you be disappointed if we just go to bed, as in sleep… I'm absolutely shattered."

He can't help but smile… "Of course, I'll even give you one of my old t-shirts to sleep in…"

"_Really?_ Well, I must be the luckiest girl in the world", she teases playfully, before pulling him down for a couple of cheeky kisses.

_You're wrong Liv, he thinks to himself... I'm the lucky one._

-x-

It's doesn't take long before both of them are lost in slumber; lost so deeply in fact, that neither of them hears the insistent vibration of Fitz's cell phone, caused by several missed calls, all from Eli.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 16**

The silence in the car had been unbearable. And it continued in the same vain until they entered his house. Familiar with the layout of the house, Liv makes her way into the living room, whilst he strides straight over to the liquor cabinet, and pours himself a large brandy.

She's the first to speak… "I take it, you won't be offering me one." It is obvious that she still wound up from their earlier encounter…

"What do you think?" He scoffs.

_"Why do you even care?"_

He cares more than she knows, but for now he's keeping those cards close to his chest... "_I care_, because as far as I know this child could be mine…" He pauses. "_So_, I shall ask you again Liv… Is this baby mine?"

_"Do you want it to be yours?"_ She is aware that she's being difficult, petulant too, but she can't help it. She's hurting, because deep down she knows this is the last thing he wants; he's probably praying that it's Franklin's.

"Don't play games with me Liv…"

"Why do you always assume I'm playing games? It's a simple question Fitz…"

"What do you expect me to say? That I'm happy about the pregnancy? Because I'd be lying if I said that I was, but I suspect you already know that… _Surely_, you must agree with me, if not, you would have told your parents by now, but you haven't?"

"You want to know what I think?"

"Go ahead."

She stares at him. "I think, that if you had been man enough to stand up for our love, or had the courage to stand up to my father, then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation at all… _Instead_, we would still be together, blissfully happy, living in Vermont and eagerly awaiting the birth of _our _child_…_"

The penny drops. He pauses, and then whispers…_ "So, it is my baby."_

"Yes," she confirms in a measured voice.

He knocks back his drink and sinks into his seat. He knew it, from the moment she told him she was pregnant, he knew it was his baby. _God, what a mess, he thinks_. Exasperated, he runs his hand over his face… _What were they going to do now?_

He looks over at her, and she looks back at him, uncertain and a little unsure. If she's hoping for guidance, then she's fresh out of luck, because for once in his life he really doesn't have the answers. Not anymore.

Nevertheless, he eventually asks… "What do you want to do?"

"I won't have an abortion, if that's what you're asking," she tells him firmly… "Don't get me wrong, I have thought about it, I was even considering it, but I don't think I can actually go through with it. _Not again_."

He nods his head in complete understanding, and then; with a level of sincerity, that genuinely rocks her, he states; "Liv, I hope you can believe me when I say, I would _never_ ask you to do that. This is your body, so your choice." Obviously moved, and relieved by his reaction, she starts to well up. After her past experience, he can appreciate her worry, but she needn't be. He may be a coward, but heartless he is not. And regardless of their messy relationship, he still loves and cares for her, and as much as the idea of this baby scares the hell out of him, he is not capable of subjecting her to that sort of pain again.

However, despite his level of compassion and consideration, none of it deters from the impact this news is having on him. This was heavy stuff. Taking his tumbler with him, he gets up and heads back over to the bar. Silently, Liv watches on, as he pours himself another drink, necks it and then pours himself another. Lost in his thoughts, he is struggling to digest it all. A year ago, if someone had said, that in seven months he would become a father again for the second time in his life, he would have laughed in their face… And yet, here he was, about to have a baby with his best friends daughter. He cannot begin to convey the level of betrayal he feels towards his friend. And sadly, much to Olivia's detriment, he has spent far too long trying to hide his feelings for her, all in an futile attempt to protect his friendship with Eli. He had put them though all of that heartache for nothing. All of it, pointless, because he cannot hide the fact that Liv is carrying his baby now, not without destroying her in the process. And he's hurt her enough.

Which means only one thing... "We need to tell your parents." He says, flatly.

Shocked to hear him say it, she stares at him in sheer disbelieve. She was half expecting him to offer her a financial agreement, in exchange for her silence. Anything to stop her father from finding out the truth… _Not this…_ But she has to ask: "And how do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? I'm petrified."

"Me too". She confesses; she is just as scared as he is. "Dad's going to blow".

He swirls the amber liquid around in the tumbler, staring at it pensively... "He's never going to forgive me… He's never going to understand…"

She smiles at him weakly. "How can we possibly expect Dad to understand? When I barely understand it myself…"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about you and me, Fitz... We're having a baby, but where does that leave us?"

He swallows… "Liv, now is not the time…"

"Actually, I think it's the perfect time…"

"What do you want from me Liv?" He looks exhausted and sounds it too; but she sees it as a way in. The culmination of the evening's events and the alcohol running through his system it has lowered his defences; she can sense it. Not only that, but the way he has responded to the news, has renewed her faith in him in ways he wouldn't even be able to comprehend. _Did they still stand a chance?_ Only one way to find out, she thinks. So bravely, she gets up from her seat and stalks towards him, determined to make him see sense.

"I think you already know what I want Fitz… _I want you…_ I haven't stopped wanting you…" She confesses truthfully.

_"Liv…"_ He looks away; but she frames his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her… "Stop fighting it, stop fighting us… I know you still love me… and from the way you were looking at me tonight, I know you still want me too… _So why keep denying yourself?_ I'm having your baby Fitz; we can't hide anymore… And why should we? We've done nothing wrong…"

"Please Liv, it's not that simple…"

"Oh, but it is." _She refuses to give up._ If it means exposing her own vulnerability, to get the response that she desires from him, then she will do whatever it takes… _"Don't you want me?"_

What she does next, is risky, because there is a good chance that she may face rejection to her advances, but for some reason her feminine instincts are driving her forward.

Slowly and intentionally, she slides her hand underneath his top. _"Stop…"_ He protests, but the intensity in his eyes, and tension on his face tells her otherwise. Therefore, she remains bold in her pursuit... "If you don't want this, then all you need to do is step away, Fitz! That's all you need to do," she repeats, softly stroking him, enjoying the hair-roughened texture of his skin, reveling in the way his muscles stiffen beneath her touch, sensing how aroused he is.

He should step away, but he knows that he can't. He is powerless to her touch.

The tiny hairs at the back of his neck stand to attention as she inches in even closer; her lips just a hair's breath away from his… She wants to kiss him so badly, but she won't; not until she knows for sure… She needs to hear him say it; she needs his reassurance that this time round, he's going to be it for the long haul, and not just for the night…

_"Do you love me?"_

He won't lie to her, he can't, not in this moment… "I love you Liv," he whispers... "I've never stopped loving you".

Her heart soars. She knew it all along, but to hear him say it, means everything. She stares up at him, with eyes glistening in unshed tears; there's only one more thing she needs know... "Then promise me Fitz, promise that after tonight you won't send me away again, but instead, you'll stand firm in your love and see this commitment through- with me, by your side... No matter what happens, we will stand and face our future together…"

He pauses, then, in a strangled voice says… "I promise."

And without another word, she lets him back in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7**

"Liv, you have to admit, the new SHO is a bit of a looker…" Quinn whispers to her, with a mischievous gleam in her eye. The cogs were turning in her head, because she had a plan. She was going to play cupid and help her friend get out of this terrible slump she'd been in ever since returning from Vermont. It had been 4 weeks and therefore high time she moved on.

_"I guess."_ Liv responds nonchalant, not really looking; distracted by her patient files and not really wanting to engage with Quinn's obvious meddling.

W_as Liv blind?_

_"You guess?_ Liv he's an Adonis!"

Liv can't help but laugh then, and decides to take a more detailed inspection of Franklin, who is indeed handsome… "Okay, yes, he's good looking- _so what?"_

Quinn roles her eyes in exasperation. "_Soooooo_ Liv… I think you should ask him out for a drink and get to know him better."

"And why would I want to do that?"

"Well, for one I've seen Franklin checking you out, so you're clearly his type, but more importantly, you need to move on from Fitz…" She adds, although far more discretely. "It's been weeks Liv, you've been miserable and you're far too young for frown lines… believe me… he's not worth it."

Liv sighs… "I just wish things had worked out differently, I loved him… and he…"

"He slept with you, then discarded you, like you were nothing Liv…" She cuts in ruefully, "So the least he deserves is your loyalty… Fitz told you that the two of you have no future, so why should you delay in finding yourself another one… And I'm not saying you should jump from one relationship to another, but at least be open to the prospect of a little fun- besides, they do say… the best way to get over a man, is to get under a new one…"

"Quinn!" She astounds at her friend's crassness, although somewhat amused by it too… _Maybe she's right? _

xXx

Fitz swivelled his wrist to check the time and realised that he had been walking for over an hour.

A wry smile appears on his face as he carefully makes his way through the woodland trail. His legs were aching. In the last few weeks, he had taken to walking long distances, whether it be before or after his long shifts at work... "The exercise will do you good..." he had reasoned to himself, although the walks were really a much-needed distraction from the solitude he felt back at the cabin.

When he gets in- he heads straight up to his bathroom, adjusts the water temperature in the shower and starts pulling off his tie. In taking off his trousers, he notices that they seem to be quite loose around his waist, mentally equating the presumed weight loss and his lack of appetite to the stress of work, and of course his messy break up with Liv. It had been a difficult couple of weeks. Standing under the pulsating hot water, he washes his face, body, legs and his toes, wriggling them to relieve some of the numbness. The water was finally starting to do its magic by easing his muscle tension and his mental fatigue. He reaches for his shower gel and sponge…

The warm aromatic fragrance gives him a sense of harmony, which he relishes in, enjoying this brief moment of ease- because it seemed, everything else around him had conspired to throw him out of balance of late.

He grapples with the memories that keep on crowding in, and pushes them away, reflecting on his first week working as a locum instead. It had not gone well in his opinion. He had been tetchy, aloof and quite inflexible in the way that he had treated several issues this week, and it did not bode well for the future… Truth be told, he really missed his old team at DC memorial; he missed his friends.

And where he had hoped that a reconnection with his daughter would be imminent, now that he lived closer to her, and could free up more time to see her... Sadly, he was mistaken, because their brief and awkward conversations over the phone, and her failure to commit to a date to meet up, only served to remind him of how alone he really was out here.

Momentarily enjoying the suds as they fall down his body, his memories however return to mock him. Unfortunately, under the spray of the shower he did not have work, his daughter there, or his recent walking habit to act as a barricade against his conflicted thoughts of Liv. A frown creases his forehead as he scrambles his mind furiously to find another hook for his focus, anything other than her. Although, that being said, it was equally pointless trying to escape the impasse, because the only thing that really made this feeling of emptiness go away were his thoughts of her. Either way he couldn't win.

He ponders the possibility of him getting any sleep tonight and concludes that it is far-fetched, and then finds himself wishing that his new locum position meant he had to work on the weekends as well, because the cabin had become unbearably tainted for him. It was as if and Liv had left their trail throughout the place, and everywhere he looked were constant reminders of her.

"Better get out of the shower before I turn into a prune", he says aloud as he turns the water off. Reaching for a towel; but seeing a towelling robe instead, he hesitates for a second. And then quickly belts the towelling robe around him, as if to ignore it- yet another inescapable memory. Almost solemnly, he pads over to the balcony- and recalls how they stood here together in their towelling robes watching the sun set on, what would be, their last night together. They had enjoyed the wonderful sight in silence, not needing to fill it in with unnecessary words, before they both stripped out of their towelling robes- him opting to sleep in his briefs, whereas she had slipped into his t-shirt, getting ready for bed.

Reminiscent, he looks over at that said t-shirt now, it had been hanging over his bed frame since the day she left; he had loathed to put it in the wash, because her perfume still lingered on it. Often, on the loneliest of nights, where all resemblance of sleep had evaded him, he has found himself laying the t-shirt beside his pillow, in a overwhelming need to feel connected to her... _Seriously, how sad and pathetic is that_, he thinks bleakly? God, he misses her... and before he even registers that he's crying, tears awash his face.

_"Oh Liv…"_ he whispers hoarsely. _"What have I done?"_

_xXx_

Following Quinn's advice and further encouragement, Liv approached Franklin; initiating conversation with him, in a bid to feel him out. She was quick to realise that there was no confusion about his attentions towards her, because he made it very clear that he liked her. However, the more she spoke to him, the more arrogant he came across, and to be frank, it wasn't a trait that she found attractive in a guy. And to make matters worse, every time he opened his mouth she couldn't help but find herself comparing him to Fitz. _Fitz_, who is so much more reserved in nature and refined, unfortunately, he left Franklin looking pale in comparison. In fact, she was ready to forego the whole idea of asking him out for a drink, until she later caught him alone in the locker room, looking rather despondent; a far stretch from his normal cock sure persona.

"Hey Franklin, you alright?" She calls over to him gently, moving closer to him, only to realise he was more upset than she initially thought... "Have you been crying?"

"No", he counters, but for some reason she won't let it drop either, his vulnerability seemingly drawing her in... "You're lying... What's happened?"

He lost a patient. "I don't even know why I'm so upset," he admits, pushing his male ego aside. "It's not the first time I've lost a patient, _but_..."

Instinctively, she reaches out to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder... "It's never easy Franklin, despite how long you've been doing this job- and it's not wrong to feel emotional, you know- we're human after all... _even you..._" she teases softly. Her words serve to bring forth a smile... "I'm surprised you're even being nice to me... I was getting the vibe that you did not like me at all..."

"Maybe I'm just a sucker for tears..." she replies playfully.

He stares deeply into her eyes, triggering a deep rooted response from within her; something akin to what Fitz makes her feel, whenever he looked at her like that. And it knocks her slightly off guard; as she finds she is quite taken back by it. _Quinn could be on to something here-_ although Franklin was no Fitz, by all means, this stripped back version of him could serve as a pleasant distraction to all the shit she had recently gone through with Fitz. He was kind on the eye, and clearly had no qualms about letting her know that he was interested- where in contrast to Fitz, it's definitely an improvement...

"Liv, you fancy coming for a drink after work with me?" He asks, belying any of his earlier bravado.

"No," she tells him. His disappointment is palpable, however it is only short lived as she decides to throw caution to the wind and adds suggestively... "But, how about I come round to yours instead?" She leaves no question behind her intent, giving him the green light he'd been vying for all day, and therefore, not wanting to give her the chance to back out, he takes her lead and leans in for a kiss.

At the end of the day, she was tired of waiting for Fitz- exhausted from trying and holding out for more- and right now Franklin was offering her more than what Fitz was willing to give. So she kisses him back fervently, allowing herself to get fully lost in the moment. _Yes_, it was time to move on.

_Besides, what's the harm in having a little bit of fun?_


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

Every night, for the past four nights Fitz had been having explicit vivid dreams, plagued with every intricate detail that took place the night he and Liv made love, and it was slowly driving him insane. It was as if his subconscious mind was intent on punishing him, making it impossible for him to focus on anything else but her. In fact, just the thought of reliving that night again was making him want to forego sleep altogether... It was beyond frustrating, because for weeks he had struggled to even fall asleep, and now that he finally was, this was happening... Clearly- there was no escaping her; not only was she infiltrating his every waking thought, she was present in his resting thoughts as well. How can he possibly drown in a woman he couldn't even have? And in all honestly, he doesn't know how much more of this he can take- because it was tearing him apart both physically and mentally...

_"Liv…" My breathing was forcing its way through my nostrils as I stood in her embrace, shaking like a leaf… "We don't have to go all the way tonight; we could wait until we are…" My voice was choked off as she stood on her tiptoes and pressed herself against me, rocking her hips against mine._

_She undid the rest of my buttons and started to pull my tie loose. _

_I seemed to have lost all power of movement and coherent thought as she removed my shirt and let it slither down to the floor._

_I followed everything that she did with my eyes. I could not move even if I wanted to, I wanted her to take the lead, to establish the boundaries of how far she wanted to go. Her exploration of every muscle and sinew in my upper body went ahead, unhurriedly, as if she were staking her claim and establishing me as part of her territory._

_Her silent exploration was accompanied by the symphony of our ragged breaths, sighs and sometimes a groan from me as she lingered in her exploration._

_She stared at my chest and seemed to marvel at my chest hair. Her hands had the freedom of my chest, my back and my neck. In response, I bent down to kiss the column of her neck, I cradled her gently in my arms, an acquiescence to the simple fact that I could not resist her anymore. _

_She pressed the full length of her body against mine and rocked her hips against me again. Her small hands with their delicate fingers travelled down my chest, meandering at my rib cage and along my stomach muscles._

_Her fingers soon found their way beyond my belly button to the waistband of my trousers and intuitively homed in on the space that the tension in my belly had created when I took a sharp breath and hollowed in my stomach._

_Her fingers reached their goal and turned me into jelly. _

_I took deep, hungry open-mouthed kisses of her neck, sometimes a nibble, sometimes I nuzzled. By her gasps and little fitful breaths, I knew she was turned on…. And I knew I was lost. I was as randy as a stallion ready to mount its mate- and the high-pitched keening sound in the background had come from my throat. At first, I had not been aware that I was the one who had made this sound-when Liv's hand disappeared beyond my waist band; but it had to be me, as the only sound that she was making was a muffled kind of moan as she returned my kisses._

_I retrieved her errant hand and tried to slow down the quaking in my limbs by pressing my knees together._

_"Liv, Liv, we need to slow down, otherwise I won't be able to last" was my explanation for removing her hands. I kissed her on the forehead with a smile, my voice was a hesitant whisper, I was no longer afraid of the vulnerability that this woman was able to expose in me at the smallest effort. My hands trembled, I do not recollect how they arrived at the zip of her dress, but there they were. _

_All of a sudden, my lips seemed to be dry, I wetted them with the tip of my tongue, contemplating if I should dare to pull down the zipper. The next time my tongue came out the relieve my lips of their dryness, Liv kind of latched on to it and started to suckle it, for a second my reaction was one of panic as I thought that I was possibly going to explode in my trousers there and then._

_I realised then that I had loved Liv more than any other woman that I had ever met. Her fulfilment and her satisfaction meant a lot to me. Somehow, I was able to stop myself from ripping off that dress and just enjoy suckling her lips, her tongue and kissing her cheeks in return._

_She put my hand to the zipper and turned around and I knew that I could no longer delay the inevitable. My vision seemed to be in slow motion as I watched her lift her hair out of the way so that it would not get snagged in the zip. I stared at the nape of her neck and focused on her first vertebrae… I have never known a zipper to make so much noise, or maybe it was the quietness in the room that heightened its sound to my oversensitive ears. My hands were surprisingly steady as I smoothed the sleeves over her shoulders. As my palms had not encountered any hindrance or straps, I noted that she was not wearing a bra. _

_As the dress slithered to her waist, past her hips and finally landed at her ankles, I seem to remember that I was no longer breathing. Or maybe I was still breathing, but it would have been so laboured that I was taking in less air than I was using._

_Her panties were like little pieces of black lace, surprisingly, they were French knickers. I silently thanked the heavens that she was not wearing one of those horrible thong things that seemed to be the latest fashion. Liv then had the enviable task to trying to cover the smoothest, rudest flanks that I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Yes, she was peachy… peachy in every sense and my mouth watered, almost wanting to relieve the hunger by sinking my teeth into the lusciousness of her skin._

_Shyness had overcome my love as she stepped out of the dress on the floor; she covered herself with her hands, her eyes apologetic as she glanced at me. And I loved her all the more for it. I just held her, rocked her gently and slowly, as I whispered in her ear tender words to comfort her fit of nerves._

_It worked. After a while, my chest was covered by soft, firm mounds of flesh pressed against me, as her arms crept up to my neck. She clung to me like a limpet shaking, whilst she gently nuzzled the side of my face._

_I rocked her differently then, the abrasion of my chest hairs against her had the desired effect, as she gradually loosened the death like grip around my neck. I cannot understand the patience that I had at that moment. I was bold in communicating my desire to her without words, using my lips to gently trace the curve of her neck, whilst my hands came to rest in the small of her back. Restlessly, I started to move my hands up and down her back, before finally slipping low, past the barriers of lace to cup her bottom softly. Her cry of pleasure was music to my ears._

_As I pulled her arms away from my neck, my thumbs joined at the base of her collarbone, whilst my eyes moved from my thumbs and then lower down; all I can say is that they were a beautiful sight. I stood like that, looking at them until Liv took my hands and placed them over her breasts; their gentle weight in my hands, as the centre of my palms were grazed by their crests; such a gorgeous sight and feeling to behold. She caught her lip with her teeth, as a little moan escaped her. The way she tossed her head to one side as if it was too heavy for her neck and tried unsuccessfully to squeeze her trembling limbs together told me all that I needed to know. She was ready for me…_

_However, I did not caress her; not yet, instead I just allowed my hands to linger and move lower to the underside of these glorious orbs._

_My nose moved from her earlobe and down the side of her neck, "Liv" I whispered into her ear, "I want you to undress me"._

_Nervously, her fingers fumbled with my belt and I tried not to think of what she was doing as her fingers brushed against my lower abdomen in trying to complete their task. Her hands were shaking, and she had broken out in goosepimples. I rubbed my hands up and down her back, resting my chin on her head, as she finally succeeded in removing my belt and trousers._

_She had left my briefs, but I wanted her to go that extra step – so I told her how I felt – "I want to be naked for you Liv, I want to make love to you, please take everything off". She stood for a while, staring at my briefs and her eyes rose solemnly to mine. Her attack of nerves was obvious, by the way she wrung her hands together. Her eyebrows rose ever so slightly as she repeated… "Everything"._

_She finally took courage and released me from the confinement of the briefs. She stood back and stared again, a shiver of awareness settled over Liv, her eyes doubtful, but not scared, again her smile was winsome, "You are beautiful" she whispered._

_"No, you are the beautiful one" I replied, "You are all; no, more than I ever imagined you would be". I watched her face bloom at the compliment, before knelling down in front of her, kissing her, all the way from the underside of her breasts down to her belly button, she gasped out loud and tried to wriggle away as I worried the indentation with my tongue. In the end, I rubbed my forehead against her belly, my eyes were downcast as I slowly eased the French knickers past her hips and dropped them to the floor. _

_The skin on my back felt hot, cold and prickly all at once. I softly nudged her hands aside as she tried to cover herself again, my eyelids uncovered my eyes, hungry with desire, aroused to the point of madness, I raised them to meet her gaze, repeating what I said earlier on, "You're the beautiful one". She shivered again, at the naked longing communicated by my voice; it was heavy and gravelled._

_I planted tiny butterfly-like kisses to her tummy, as I tried to buy myself sometime. I was worried that I was going to go off like a firecracker at the first touch._

_As I stood up, my eyes scanned her face. I did not want to fail her, but I was scared that I would not be able to last because I was so painfully aroused at that stage. I wanted it to be good for her, the best, something that would be tattooed in her memory, but I was unsure of my capability of bringing her to such satisfaction. I tunnelled my fingers through her hair, my thumbs stopping to caress the nape. _

_"What's wrong, Fitz?"_

_"Truthfully?" my voice now gruff, hesitant and tinged with mortification._

_"Yes, of course"_

_"I am worried that I won't be able to… I'm not sure that I will last... I am so wound up, that I am likely to erupt at the smallest touch- I don't want to disgrace myself, but more important, I don't want to fail you…"_

_"Even if that did happen, we would try again. I would never regard you as anything less than the man I love, these things happen."_

_She took my hand and led me towards the bed. My eyes were peeled on the fluid movements of her hips, the neat indentation of her waist and the gentle flexing and tiny hint of female muscle of her posterior. In the end, I picked her up and placed her on top of the covers, both of our eyes would have been unsure, but there was also a determination in our hearts to go on._

_She raised her arms to me and drew me down; kissing me with adoration and leaving tiny, burning, lingering kisses on my face, my chin, my forehead, and my eyelids. _

_I rested my weight on my forearms as I received these kisses, "wrap your legs around me Liv", I whispered to her- and she obliged; her heat resting against my belly. In turn, I wound my arms around her and raised her up so that I could nibble, nuzzle and kiss her face, her ear lobes and her lips._

_Perspiration had popped out on her upper lip and I licked it off, the saltiness almost an aphrodisiac of its own, together with the barrage of scents that cascaded into my senses-muskiness, perfume and desire. Her lips were parted, and her breath came out in tiny gasps; her eyes were round, as huge as saucers, her restless limbs told me to take courage; so I probed and then with a powerful trust, I surged forward making us one. _

_I gritted my teeth so hard that my jaws ached. Sweat beaded my forehead and made their way to my eye sockets. A tremor rippled through me, and I was reduced to a panting trembling mess._

_"Don't move" I pleaded, I am not sure whether I actually said the words or mouthed them. We hugged each other tightly, our bodies, one trembling mass, a bundle of screaming nerves as the throes of passion threatened to engulf us. It was difficult to keep my eyes open, as a stunning maze of colours seemed to be bursting beneath my eyelids. Whilst I had my wits about me; to force my mind to concentrate on anything other than the incredible sensation of being fully seated inside her, I thanked her – "Thank you for this gift Livvie, thank you for giving yourself to me, for this precious gift." My voice was hoarse, and my knees trembled from balancing her weight; trying not to give in to the inevitable as I sampled her lips once more._

_She was not steady either, an after parting from our kiss, she whimpered as she tried to get her own words out "How does it feel?"_

_"Wonderful, warm; I ache... I need you to soothe me…" I panted out each word, my lips trembling by the effort it was taking to form each sound._

_The trembling that assailed my knees and my whole body, where urging me to let go… I growled out in frustration as I tried to tame myself, whilst I strove for a mastery over my body, to stop it capitulating into the fevered eruption that threatened to engulf me earlier than I desired. But hidden twinges made a mockery of my resolve, and a slight undulating movement when Liv wriggled ever so slightly to ease the impulse, caused the dam to break, as our hips took on a life force of their own._

_Her soft tremulous cries of delight filtered into my brain - as we started to climb towards that pinnacle of rapture - the sounds she made were a delight. I tried to keep my eyes focused on hers, but my eyelids were so heavy. _

_So many emotions flashed through her eyes, I wanted to ask them to stop so that I could clearly see and treasure each unspoken reaction. We moved to the sinuous rhythm that was as old as time, the rise and fall of bodies seeking fulfilment and yet reigning in their desires so that they could delay that final eruption. The silence in our room was accompanied by gasps for breath, panting, a groan or sometimes an indescribable high-pitched sound._

_Her deep throated groan of fulfilment as she chanted my name on the road to capitulation was the sweetest sound that I have ever heard. And I followed immediately after._

_I lay sprawled over her, my face buried in her hair; my shoulders shuddered with effort to lift my weight off her, not wanting to crush her. I struggled to catch my breath as my lungs bellowed to replenish the oxygen inside them; tears pricked the back of closed eyelids and ran slowly down my trembling cheeks._

_I realise now that they were tears of joy, tears of relief. My joy in that instance was the acknowledgement that I had fully given myself to Liv, no reservations, no selfishness; just a willingness to ensure that she was pleasured beyond belief. She held me closely, wrapping her arms around my sweaty back and then running her hands over my shoulders, my neck, and holding my head to look deeply into my eyes, maybe for reassurance. _

_Her thumbs moved the tears from my face, in turn, I smiled intently at those beautiful, deep brown eyes; I wanted to drown in the depths of the tenderness and love that I could see in them._

_My brain seemed to have turned into mush, and a lack of oxygen seemed to have left me sluggish, my body unable to move for what seemed to be aeons of time. I felt so shaken by what had happened, it seemed as if I was outside of my body, disconnected, watching myself._

_Finally, I eased my legs down hers and we ended up in a tangle of limbs; hers still shaking with aftershocks._

_Lazily, she puckered her lips for a kiss, I was more than happy to oblige to her request. And a gentle flush crept from her chest, to her neck and face._

_We lay there, limbs intertwined, breathing returning to normal, my head cushioned against her. I placed languorous kisses on her sternum, watching her face, with my gaze shielded by my eyelids._

_After a while, I could feel her wriggling her toes near my calves. When I enquired if she was okay, she gave me a bashful smile before explaining. "I can still feel you, feel everything, all the way down to my toes"._

_My brain was slow in responding, I suppose I had starved it of oxygen for too long- so I gave an incredibly dumb reply… "Of course you can still feel me, I am cuddled against you…"_

_"No Fitz, not there…"_

_"Where then?"_

_She rolled her eyes backwards towards her brows, this time her look was almost coy… "Oh…oh, I see…". I felt like a clumsy oaf for not understanding in the first place._

_Her words inflamed me, and she had given me a ready excuse, igniting my body again, I rocked gently against her, "Do you feel… this?" My words were slurred, as if I was drunk with love, in making love and loving Liv._

_Her eyebrows rose in shock "But Fitz, you have just… what I mean is, you can't be!"_

_"Oh yes I can" I replied, my voice raspy, as I laced our fingers together, stretching our arms out to the side and with my back as tight as a bow, I bent to kiss her sweet lips, as my hips dipped and picked up on her rhythm as we started the dance of love again._

_I remember rolling over later, so that she could lie on top of me, conscious of the difference in my weight and height. A delicious fatigue had set itself on me. My love lay there, draped over me, her face hidden beside mine. I knew she wasn't sleeping because I received the occasional kiss to my face, and delicate snuggles with the tip of her nose._

_"Fitz?" _

_"Yes, my love?"_

_"You are a Tiger." _

_My eyes slide lazily towards her face- and my teeth catch the bottom of my lip in an eloquent almost smug grin. My lover was boasting of my prowess, what more could a man want?_

_To be honest, I have never felt so virile in my life. My loins felt so heavy and full, almost as if they would burst, and the only thing that alleviated the heat was when I was deeply embedded, lodged to the hilt with Liv. _

_My grin was almost feral, I was not sure that she would have appreciated my thoughts at that time – I wanted to make love to her until her legs trembled and felt so wobbly and bandy that by the time she finally got out of bed, she was only able to take small steps, in an almost pigeon-like fashion. Of course, I kept this purely male fantasy to myself and tucked it away in my memory like a naughty secret; again, grinning at her compliment as I gazed at the ceiling._

_"Only for you Liv, no one else, only for you…" I replied. I had to reply; she had just stroked my ego and the testosterone inside me demanded that I acknowledge and respond. Her grin reminded me of the same look she had in her eyes when she stepped out of the staff room, after our first kiss at the hospital, it looked triumphant. I shrugged; I was not bothered that she had conquered me. I was completely at her mercy._

_Understandably exhausted, we found ourselves dosing off in each other's embrace… however, it wasn't long before I was up and wanting her again. My restless hands on her back, became more purposeful; kneading, caressing, stroking, lingering, and investigating all the tiny nodules of her vertebrae until I had woken her up, and her slumberous gaze turned to one of pure enchantment as they focused on my face. _

_My breath lodged itself somewhere in my throat, as my heart squeezed painfully within me and started knocking rapidly against my rib cage; I wondered how such a small thing as her smile could bring me such bliss._

_I nibbled delicate kisses on her lips, tracing the outline with my tongue in reverence. The need to possess her again had churned up inside me. In truth this was a distraction as I eased her hips down and united our bodies together again, leaving her astride me._

_She was barely awake, but the way her eyes rounded with disbelief suggested that she realised that I wanted her again. "I can't get enough of you" I whispered truthfully, my voice on the edge of desperation as I admitted my craving._

_She seemed unsure of what to do and was about to drift off again. But I bucked against her, holding her hips in place as I tried to convey my need. "You set the pace, there's no rush"._

_A slow glimmer of comprehension dawned on her face. Liv leaned forward, her hands braced both sides of my head as she smiled and dipped her lips for my kisses - her hips lifted -slowly, almost languidly; and then she started moving… _

_I was probably able to focus clearly on her face for the first time that night. Her eyes were resolutely fixed on mine; mesmerised almost, and all her love shined through them. From this position, she had the freedom to let her hands roam over my chest creating trails of exquisite pleasure wherever they traversed. My palms skimmed her calves and moved slowly upwards teasing her and stopping at her knees to press my thumbs into the sensitive area behind them. But I was the one who started wiggling my toes at that stage, because I could feel various sensations all the way right down to my toes. My toes felt as if they were invaded by a million pinpricks, my back was tense; taut as I tried not to intrude or take over the lead from Liv, my chest bore the pressure of her hands and thumbs as pressed against them; my lips trembled, with a feeling like an electric current passing through them after she kissed me; and I dare not describe what or how I felt in other places._

_I loved her freedom with my body, leading us, whilst her eyes rolled back, and her brow creased as she tussled fiercely with the need to prolong the ecstasy and stop us from reaching that idyllic zenith._

_I figured that I had worn her out. I cannot explain the inability to get enough of her – because it is still unfathomable to me: If she was my drug, then I wanted to be addicted to her forever. No sooner than our bodies had cooled down, and our breathing returned to an almost normal state; an inexorable need clawed inside me again – it did not yield, it would not falter, and it did not relent. A fever, a passion like I have never known – I did not even realise that I was capable making love to a woman that way._

_Want bayed in me like a lone wolf – it was somewhat fearsome to me to be caught up so fiercely in wanting Liv. The yearning to stay attached to her as these flames gnawed at me and buffeted for triumph was overwhelming, my mind tried to conceive that it could win, but it was not a mind over matter issue– inevitably my body won, I was a love slave and I obeyed its commands._

_We settled down later, face to face, my arm was tucked under my pillow; I drew a sheet over us, up to waist level and then draped my other arm over her waist, my hand splayed over her hips, fingers gently kneading her rump. She played with my chest hair; and her face was near enough for me to kiss her forehead._

_Her hands inevitably reached their goal – the tiny flat nubs on my chest and circled them and they constricted at the tender ministrations. Her eyes drifted away again as they concentrated on their task._

_"I didn't realise that they were so sensitive" she murmured distractedly._

_She bent her head; her hair trailing across my chest and shoulder. Her parted lips reached their destination; her eyes closed; I watched her, her cheeks hollowing as they suckled, and a croaky groan escaped me as she rolled it between her teeth and tongue._

_I flexed restlessly against the sheets as need tightened my body and then forced myself to relax to enjoy her caresses. I wanted her to have her satisfaction, she had not touched me in this way before and I just revelled in the freedom that she had with my body._

_The pleasure was so sharp, for a moment I thought I was going explode. I changed our positions so that I was kneeling over her… "Yours my dear sweet baby are so exquisite- and very sensitive. Perfect in every way…" I grinned as I was saying this, but there was a catch in my voice. I held her breast in my palms, enjoying the slight weight of them. I stared at them; toffee skinned, with a slow flush under them that gave way to a darker shade and different texture in the centre – almost like chocolate raspberries. _

_The crests puckered under my steady gaze, as they seemed to be alert to my need as my head descended to pay the same obeisance to them that Liv had paid to mine._

_I moved from one breast to the other, taking my fill of this unbearable hunger as the nubs tightened in response to my caresses with my thumbs and being drawn into my mouth._

_I was not quite sure whether to make love to her again. I did not want her to think that I was insatiable. But in a sense, I was, and it was all about her this time._

_I had made all the initial moves – Oh I was content, and I certainly am not complaining because I know that she did not withhold anything from me… I watched the frantic movement of her legs as they unconsciously conveyed her need to me. I wanted all of this to be for her, and so I figured that I could wait until the morning, if she felt up to it. _

_My fingers found themselves on her thighs, slowly tracing their way and slipped between her legs – the pulsating warmth welcomed me._

_I buried my nose there to take in her scent, and I would have carried on with my intent had she not hastily pressed her knees together. The silent query in my eyes were met by Liv's rueful ones... She looked uneasy, and then it suddenly dawned on me; she had never been kissed down there before… "Livvie, do you trust me?" Her smile was almost apologetic, as she nodded quickly… She didn't want to disappoint, but she was equally timid about the prospect of me going down on her… I however was not about to let her fears interrupt this new experience for her… "Then Liv, in that case, trust me when I say, I want to taste you- here… please let me taste you." My words had the desired effect, for she was immediately reduced to putty in my hands, as she opened herself up to me completely._

_Slowly, unhurriedly and orally I took her to the freedom that her body had unknowingly craved._

_"Fitz, Fitz…" with a voice that was mere croak she chanted my name; as she writhed with delight. Her voice was reduced to fitful gasps as the waves crashed over her and she finally capitulated…. "Fittttzzzzz'_

_Her body convulsed over, and over again as she bathed my face, my mouth, my wrist and my fingers with her bodies most intimate of tears._

_Afterwards I held her close, tightly- her whole-body quivering with aftershock… It was a revelation to me because I had read about it, but nothing like this had ever happened to a woman that I had made love to in the past. I was utterly overjoyed._

_However, I had not counted on how Liv would feel. She buried her head in the pillow and when I tried to kiss her, she imperceptibly moved her head away, unable to look me in the eye._

_A strange kind of panic visited my heart, "Liv what's wrong?" I was worried that she was offended or shocked by the way I had hungrily devoured her- maybe it was too much for her, too soon._

_"What happened Fitz? What's wrong with me… I… I don't understand it - nothing like that has ever happened to me before". In her angst and embarrassment, she had started stuttering her words._

_"My sweet, sweet baby, please don't be ashamed. It was beautiful". I pressed her face to my shoulder trying to comfort her._

_The Doctor in me took over as I tried to make her understand that in a sense, men and women were not all that different and that she had not peed herself as she had feared. My tone was warm and gentle, as I eased her mind and tried to assure that what happened, although rare, it was not abnormal either. If anything, it had thrilled me to know that I could bring her to such exquisite heights. _

_As I spoke to her in soothing tones, I rocked her slowly until the tension left her body. It worked– and in the end a secret smile slowly spread across her face._

_I again wondered about her previous lovers – they had not done her any favours because she was so unaware of her body as an instrument of sensuality._

_"Do you feel awkward when you see me like this?" _

_She looked down and noticed that once again-my body was painfully aching for hers. When her fingers reached for me and cupped me in her palms, cradling me as her thumbs slowly but surely investigated the treasure in her hands, the pleasure was so surfeit, I was sure I would faint. She shook her head slowly – almost as an afterthought - in response to my question. "No, I don't feel awkward, I love how you love me, and I love how your body weeps for me…"_

_'I Love you Livvie, I love you so much…' my voice was cut off as I threw my head back, dizzy with the ecstasy that she was creating for me._

_"Let me release you…" she sighed- slowly and exquisitely- as her thumbnail grazed the honeyed tip. This time she smiled knowingly, accepting me for what I was..._

Heart racing, breath laboured and with his head pounding, Fitz wakes up startled and painfully aroused; for yet another consecutive morning... This has got to stop- he tells himself. The intensity of these dreams was leaving him bereft of energy. He was an emotional mess; but this time round, lying there drenched in his sweat and heady remorse, it finally occurs to him what must be done to bring an end to this mental torture... He has to see her, one last time- if only to make sure she's alright; maybe then, he can ease his restless conscious and stop it from conspiring against him. He is guilty of treating her so appallingly, and no matter how much he's suffering now, he knows he's hurt her more... Somehow, he must make peace with what they did, and how badly he ended it... And although he knows that they can't ever be together (he threw away his chance), equally, when alone and faced with his own personal truths, he can no longer deny the blindingly obvious, these dreams were making him second guessing everything... How could he be that stupid to allow someone as special as Liv to slip through his fingers, but even worse- hurt her.

He had to make amends.


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

It was the day of her nursing assessment and Liv was experiencing a healthy mixture of nerves and excitement. She had to follow one patient from admission, to diagnosis and then treatment, whilst being assessed on her patient care and medical notes. Once passed, she had one more written exam to complete for the year, before proceeding to her finals. This was an important day for Liv, and with that in mind, Franklin had gone out of his way to be incredibly sweet, by bringing in an energy boosting breakfast for her to eat and giving her a good luck card. She liked Franklin, he was easy to be around and uncomplicated. Since the night she followed him back to his flat, they've slept together a few times now, and it's been nice. Quinn was right, Franklin did provide a good sense of relief and distraction from Fitz. But despite Franklin's obvious keenness for them to develop into something more than "friends with benefits", Liv however, is reluctant to commit to more. She's just not ready. And for now, Franklin at least seems willing to go along with the pace she has set, although, he's clearly holding out for more.

"You'll be fine Liv- you're a great nurse, you should sail through this assessment." He encourages, before giving her a hug and planting a kiss to her forehead… "Thanks Franklin." She replies, stretching upwards in his embrace and treating herself to a few pecks of his lips, until they are rudely interrupted. Eli clears his throat, in mild irritation, effectively pulling them apart… "Sorry Dr Pope, she's all yours…" Looking rather sheepish, Franklin turns back to face Liv… "Look, I better go, my shift's about to start… So, I'll see you later tonight,_ right?_"

To celebrate, he had made them reservations for dinner after work.

"Yes, I'll see you tonight," She smiles at him brightly, actively ignoring her father's chagrin as they both watch and wait for him leave. Of course, as soon as Franklin's out of ear shot her father pipes up… "So, what's that all about?"

"Nothing," she replies innocently; giving very little away… "Franklin brought me breakfast, that's all…"

"Liv, you should be focusing on your assessment today." He chides, but then in a softer tone adds… "Which is why I came down here looking for you- I wanted to wish my baby girl good luck…"

"_Aaaaw_ thanks dad." She grins widely, grateful for the change of direction; the last thing she needed to hear was any elevated concerns he may have about who she is dating, or as the case may be, sleeping with.

He quickly ushers her out the room… "Right then, off you go- I don't want you to be late… _Oh, and Liv…_"

"Yes Dad?"

"I'm proud of you".

She cannot help but beam in response to his words. It has been a long time since she's heard her father say those words to her, and to be honest it feels awesome.

Unfortunately, much to Liv's disdain the positive start to her day was about to take a colossal nosedive.

Starting with Quinn, who comes down to see her at lunch, with worry etched all over her face.

"Hey Quinn. What's up?"

"Liv, can I talk to you in private for a sec?"

"Yeah sure?" She gets up from her desk and follows Quinn into a private room. Quinn wastes no time in telling her what wrong… "Liv, have you spoken to Franklin today?"

"Yes, I saw him this morning, why?"

"Well, I know this is completely unethical and a major breach against patient/doctor confidentiality, and I'll probably be suspended if management were to ever find out that I told you this; but, Harrison called me from the lab department, concerned, that he'd been sent a urine sample, to be tested for Chlamydia… Nothing out of the ordinary really, except for the fact that the sample belongs to Franklin!"

_"What?!" _

"Yes, and then I remembered you said you'd been up all night and again, early this morning, frequently needing to pee… Which, seeing as it's your assessment today, we both attributed it to nerves, but now I'm not so sure Liv?"

She feels sick to her stomach. "Please tell you're kidding me…"

"I wish I was Liv… Look, whether he has it or not, which I hope for your sake he doesn't, I think it would be wise for you to get yourself checked out- because the earlier you catch these things, the easier they are to treat."

Liv shakes her head in utter dismay… "I know, but… _Why?_ Why did this have to happen today, of all days; for goodness sake, I'm in the middle of my assessment, I can't leave my patient…"

"Yes, you can- it won't take you long Liv, you should go now, whilst you're still on your lunch break… and I'll cover for you, until you come back."

"I don't know Quinn… Are you sure?"

"I'm positive… now go!"

Immediately and without any further hesitation, Liv quickly makes her way to the clinic and speaks directly to the nurse in charge, who kindly rushes her in front of all the other patients, and advises, that whilst she needs to test for Chlamydia, it would be wise to test for everything else… "If you've exposed yourself to one Olivia, you've exposed yourself to them all… therefore I will need your blood, urine and swabs."

After being told that she will get her results pushed through as soon as possible (just one of the many perks from working in the hospital), Liv returns to AAU in almost a daze… Only to walk in on Quinn, with her hands prised to shock her patient with the defibrillator…

"CLEAR!"

Liv's patient was having a cardiac arrest. This was bad, very bad indeed. Fortunately for the patient (and Liv), Quinn's quick response had successfully brought the patient back from the brink. But subsequent tests now showed that her patient had MDMA in her system, which was not present in her system earlier… It would appear, that in Liv's absence her patient had ingested the drug. And regrettably, this was going to cause huge ramifications for her assessment, because Liv had failed to monitor her patient properly.

Feeling despondent, and extremely angry with herself- an hour later- when she spots Franklin strolling into AAU; no doubt in search of her- she finds she's not exactly in the mood to play nice.

Oozing in positivity, he approaches her smiling… N_ot for long, she thinks._

"Hey Liv, how are you getting on?"

"Terrible! No thanks to you…"

He looks at her utterly perplexed… "What do you mean by that?" He asks in confusion.

"_Well_, my patient overdosed on MDMA, whilst I went to the clinic to get tested for Chlamydia… _You know_, that sexually transmitted infection, that if left untreated, could leave a woman infertile!" She reels, pointing her finger into his chest.

"Hey, hold on… _how did you…?_ Look, I was going to tell you about it…"

"_Really_… When?!"

Discretely, Franklin pulls her aside… "Liv please, don't be like that- I'm not that kind of guy. I swear to you, I only found out today. If you want, I can show you the messages I received from my ex this morning, telling me that she has it… But I wasn't worried, because I know I used protection with her; plus, I don't have any symptoms… so I'm sure I don't have it."

"But you're not certain…" she accuses him in anger.

"I only got myself tested to be on the safe side- Obviously, I know Chlamydia is a big deal, and if my results confirmed I did have it, I would have told you immediately… You've got to believe that Liv…"

"Actually Franklin, I don't have to believe anything you say to me…" She retorts in a clipped fashion; she is literally steaming with rage and she's acutely aware that if she doesn't walk away soon, in a matter of seconds her fist will be colliding with his face… Dismissive, and in no way apologetic about it, she tells him to leave her alone… "Can you get out of my way… I'd like to get back to my job, whilst I've still got one…"

Reluctantly, he steps aside and lets her pass; considering all that has transpired, he appreciates that she needs some space from him right now. However, if she thinks he's about to step aside for good and allow her to walk away from him- then she's surely mistaken, because he's more than prepared to fight for her; in fact, he'll do whatever it takes to win her back. And although she's not ready to hear it; at least to himself- he's not afraid to admit that he's falling hard for her. He is developing major feelings for this girl- and they're the sort of feelings that you don't dare ignore or run away from.

She just needs time.

As her shift slowly winds down to an end, she realises she's only moments away from finding out if she has failed her assessment or not. She's trying to remain positive, but she has serious doubts about her performance today. She's certain that she'll be required to repeat the semester.

_Just when she thought things were getting better… _

"Olivia, please come in…" She gives her a wry smile and follows the senior nurse into her office; ignoring the faint vibration of her cell phone, which has just gone off in her back pocket.

It's a message from Franklin…

_Liv, I got my results, it's negative, I don't have Chlamydia. I can only apologise for not telling you sooner, but I honestly didn't want you worrying about it unnecessarily. The last thing I wanted, was for it have a negative impact on your assessment. I still have my fingers crossed for you, and I pray that you pass- because you've worked so hard for it. I hope that you'll allow me a make it up to you. Please forgive me Liv, and understand that I would never willingly do anything to jeopardise your wellbeing... I care too much for you to do that to you x_

It had been a day of emotional rollercoasters and roundabouts, with the cherry on top being told that she had indeed failed her assessment. She knew it, but she's gutted all the same. She's dreading telling her parents that she's failed; especially her father- although she will wisely leave out the reason as to why she left her patient unattended. Fighting back her tears of disappointment, she heads towards the staff room, in need of some time alone, somewhere to hide away and recollect her thoughts for a minute. Tucking her feet underneath her, she curls up on the sofa and then, almost as in an afterthought, she retrieves her phone from her pocket and reads Franklin's message. Despite him revealing that his doesn't have Chlamydia, meaning that thankfully she doesn't have it either; she still can't help but feel disheartened by the whole ordeal; so she decides to cancel their dinner plans. Franklin was only supposed to be a bit of light-hearted fun, but in the space of a day- their dynamic had dramatically transformed into a situation that she no longer wanted to be a part of. She's already had her fair share of drama this year with Fitz, so the last thing she wants to do is to sign herself up for more with Franklin. Therefore, the next time she sees him, she going to call it quits…

"Time to go home" she thinks allowed, getting up and heading to her locker to grab her stuff. But before she even gets a chance to plug in the combination to her lock, she's bombarded by a breathless Quinn… "Liv, my goodness, there you are… I've been looking all over for you… How did it go?"

"Not good- I failed my assessment…"

"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry… _Damn_, I wish I didn't open up my mouth now…"

"_Hey_\- stop right there… It's not your fault… Shit happens, I guess…" She shrugs dejectedly… "_Look_, I'm about to head home, do you want anything from the supermarket, I'm thinking wine and popcorn for dinner!"

Quinn, gives her a tight smile, still feeling incredibly guilty… "Sure, why not, I'll be clocking off in an hour, so buy a few bottles… I think we need it after today… Although, before you leave, that nurse from the sexual health clinic has been trying to pin you down for the past half hour or so- I suppose she has your results… you should go and see her first…"

"_Naaaaaah_ it's fine, I'm clear, Franklin got his results, he doesn't have it, so I'm good…"

"I don't know Liv, she seemed quite persistent in trying to catch you before you left, I think you should pop in and see her before you split… just to make sure…"

"_Okay, fine…_ I'll stop and see her on my way out…"

Quinn pulls her in for her a much-needed hug… "_Good_, _good_… it's worth going to see her Liv, even if it's only for your peace of mind."

_Peace of mind... Sadly, that statement couldn't be further from the truth. _


	10. Chapter 10

**Part 10**

With his flights booked and his bags packed; Fitz had been tempted to call Eli, to let him know that he'll be back in DC for a few days, but then he refrained from doing so. He is really missing the ease they used to have between them, however, looking at situation from his perspective and all that has taken place between him and Liv, is there any wonder why he's feeling so estranged from his best friend? _A guilt ridden conscious makes it difficult to keep up the pretence_. So, in light of the bigger picture, he decides it's best not to forewarn anyone of his impending visit. Besides, if he told Eli he was coming, he was bound to tell Liv, and he is worried that if Liv finds out; she'd call and tell him not to come. He's been mentality preparing himself for her frosty reception; to be fair, it's the least he deserves; and whatever she wishes to dish out, he will take like a man. Because his sole intention for going back to DC is to see her, (he _HAS_ to see her) and make sure she's alright. Maybe then, he'll finally find the strength to move on without her.

-X-

She's convinced the universe is conspiring against her. She couldn't believe it when the nurse told her she was pregnant. She had even requested a second test, hoping that it was all a big mistake, but there was no mistake about it… For now, she's chosen to keep the news to herself; she needs time to figure out what she wants to do first. Although, after the ordeal she went through, the last time she found herself in this predicament, she had vowed never to have an abortion again. Therefore, her options are limited. Either she has the baby and keep it; or she considers giving it up for adoption. If she's being totally honest with herself, she knows she's not ready to be a mum; not on her own anyway; which she highly suspects will be the case. If she were to tell Franklin about the pregnancy, she's uncertain about how he'll react; maybe he'll support her, but then maybe he won't. After receiving the news, she's avoided him like the plague. Easy to do really, seeing as she has called in sick for the past two days. She's yet to break things off with him too. Deep down in her heart, she knows she doesn't really want to be with him, but equally, she's scared to face this situation entirely on her own.

And then there was Fitz… In complete denial, she's been telling herself that it can't be his, because in truth, she really can't face it. Just the thought of carrying his baby and not having him beside her, is simply too excruciating to bear. So, in midst of her irrational reasoning, she finds it's easier to pretend he has nothing to do with it.

She's taking a leaf out of his book for once- and is burying her head in the sand.

-X-

Quinn was worried about her friend. When she came home that evening to find Liv in bed, with no wine or popcorn in sight, she assumed the very worst. And since then, Liv has been unwilling to discuss her results, and has signed herself off work. Between shifts, she tried her best to keep a close eye on her, and because of this, she's noticed that Liv's frequent trips to the toilet have not abated, but in addition to this (and even more alarmingly), she's also appeared to have lost her appetite. Maybe, she's not eating due to stress- but either way, something is seriously wrong with her. She hoping she'll confide in her soon; she doesn't want to pressure her into opening up, but at the rate she is going, she may have no other option but to force it out of her. As for Franklin, he's been constantly badgering her for news on Liv; like her, he is also concerned; but she lacks the patience to pacify him, because she has already deduced that he's the reason behind her friend's obvious distress. And as a result of this, when he approaches her again, with yet another string of questions- in sheer aggravation- she loses her cool and deliberately implies that he's the one at fault, and that maybe it's because he's passed something on to Liv.

-X-

Franklin has struggled all day to stay focused at work; not only is he genuinely troubled about Liv, but Quinn's causative words from earlier on have been weighing heavily on his mind… Quinn believes, he has given something to Liv, but his results were clear- so, he knows that can't be the case. Therefore, he is left with only two possible conclusions, either Liv had something pre-existing to them getting together- which she is failing to tell him about- or Liv was pregnant. It's obvious that she's been avoiding him; she's not been at work and she's refusing to answer his calls and reply to his messages- but after today's clash with Quinn, he's suddenly unwilling to wait for Liv to address the issue with him. So as soon as his shift is over, he finds himself at her doorstep, ready to confront all.

She's been in bed all day. Mainly feeling sorry for herself, but also lacking the energy to get up and deal with the crisis that has become her life. Thankfully, she managed to eat a cheese sandwich for lunch; it's the first thing she's eaten in days. Whether it's her morning sickness starting to kick in, or she's just sick to her stomach with uncertainty and indecision; either way, she's battling to keep her food down. She feels absolutely miserable; miserable in every sense of the word- So much so, the undeniable pull to go back to bed and shut the entire world out, seems so appealing right now, she's tempted to give in…

But it seems the insistent ringing of her doorbell, is determined to stand in the way of her newly laid plans.

Unhurried, she makes her way to the door.

_"Franklin?"_ She wasn't expecting him to be there, and he can tell that he's caught her unawares. "Can I come in?"

Her first instinct is to send him away, because she's so ill-prepared for this, but then it dawns on her that she can't keep hiding from him either… So, in acquiesce, she lets him enter the house… "_Sure_."

"I've been trying to call you…"

"_I know…_ Look Franklin, I'm sorry, but after what happened at work the other day- with my nursing assessment and _everything_ _else_ … I just needed some space…"

"So this is about space, is it?" He's deliberately trying to bait her… "Because I'm under the impression that this has everything to do with your test results… So, I'm asking… is there something I should know?"

His blatant insight leaves her feeling vulnerable and exposed, and with her confusion being so palpable, it's like he has her by the jugular and she's at a total loss of what to say, or do for the best… If she tells him she's pregnant, he'll assume that the baby is his, and for all she knows there's a chance that it could be; because they had been careless… But what if he's not the father? _How does she even begin to explain herself then?_

Franklin can sense that she's waning, and his gut is telling him to change his tactics entirely, if he wants her to open up and be honest with him, then he's got to give her the right platform to do so… So instead, in a voice filled with great warmth and tenderness, he states… "It's okay Liv, you can tell me… _You're pregnant_, aren't you?"

It's enough to undo her.

Feeling overwhelmed; involuntarily, her bottom lip starts to tremble; she's just so tired of carrying this burden by herself; but now this man, who she barely knows, and who owes her nothing- is standing before her, offering her a lifeline that she cannot afford to dismiss. And it's for that reason; albeit against her better judgement, she gives into her weakness, and falls apart right in front of his eyes, nodding her head solemnly and confirming his suspicions…

Immediately, and without a shred of hesitation on his part, he steps forward and pulls her into his strong embrace… "_Ssssssh, please don't cry…_" He soothes. "I know you're frightened, _I am too_, but you can trust me Liv, no matter what you decide, I'm going to be here for you, _I promise…_"

It's in that precise moment, encased in his arms, that she realises, with hundred percent clarity- that Franklin will offer her all the support she could ever want for this baby.

She might not love him, but by having him beside her, at least, she won't have to do this alone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part 11**

With the fast pace nature of working in hospitals, coupled with the antisocial hours, it is particularly difficult to keep up to date with what is going on around you, and in Quinn's case, it was making it very tricky to pin Liv down. Especially now that Liv had returned to work. Obviously, Liv returning to work was a positive thing- because it meant that at the very least, she was well enough to work. However, in regards to what is going on in that head of hers, Liv was playing those cards close to her chest. Then to make matters even more confusing, yesterday afternoon, just as Quinn was pulling up into the staff car park, she happened to spot Liv and Franklin leaving the building together, with his arm draped around her shoulders, looking very cosy. Quite frankly, the scene had thrown her off guard, and if she wasn't running late, she would have called Liv out on it straight away. None of it seemed to add up... Only a few days ago she was actively avoiding Franklin, and now the pair looked as close as ever. In her opinion, Liv's behaviour appeared to be all over the place, both inconsistent and illogical, and totally out of character, and for Quinn this was setting off huge alarm bells.

Checking with admin on her way out- Quinn found out that Liv's next shift wasn't until later this evening, which meant if she was quick enough she would have a good chance of catching her at home. She needed to get to the bottom of this.

As it turns out, it would seem that her timing was impeccable, because the penny drops the minute she lets herself into the house and walks in on Liv retching her guts out into the toilet bowl... It all made sense now... Retrieving a flannel from the towel rail, Quinn runs it under the cold tap and hands it to an exhausted Liv who is now sitting with her back pressed against the bath tub... Knowingly their eyes meet... _"So you're pregnant then?_

"What gave it away?" Liv replies dryly as Quinn takes a seat beside her...

"God Liv, you don't do things by halves- do you?"

"I wish I did... Listen, my parents don't know yet, so I need you to keep this to yourself for now..."

"Of course- my lips are sealed... although I gather Franklin knows..."

"What makes you say that?" Liv questions, although she doesn't deny it either.

"I saw you two all hugged up in the car park yesterday..." Quinn reveals, with a slight catch to her voice.

"_Oh... Yeah... _he found out a few days ago."

"And he's happy about it?"

"Seemingly so... Well, he said he'll support whatever decision I make..."

"And have you, made a decision that is?"

"I'm keeping it..." Liv tells her plainly; although she neglects to admit how unsettled she is about that prospect.

Quinn however, not one to ignore the elephant in the room, decides to tackle the said elephant head on... _"I see_... and what about Fitz?"

"What about him?" She sounds almost petulant in her response.

"Oh come on Liv... this is me you're talking to... are you sure the baby is not his?"

"Please Quinn, can we just drop it..." She makes a move to get up and leave, but Quinn stops her; preventing her from escaping and forcing her to address the biggest issue of them all.

"Liv, if you're having this baby, you can't hide from this... you need to know for certain..."

"_It can't be his Quinn... it just can't..._" she replies desperately. If this baby ends up being his, she doesn't dare to think about what that will mean for the future- it's just too messy.

Quinn genuinely feel sorry for her, but she has to make her see sense... "I know you're scared Liv, but you need to find out for sure... you know that, right?"

As difficult as it may be, Quinn was effectively holding up a mirror in front of her face and she was having to take a long hard look at herself... As much as she doesn't want to face reality, Quinn was right, she must... "_Yeah... I know,_" she admits in trepidation.

_Finally_, Quinn thinks; finally she was getting somewhere... "Look, when you go into work today, go straight up to maternity and get a scan done; because God knows you can't hide from the truth forever Liv."

-x-

It feels good to be back and although he realises that the conversation he intends to have with Liv is s going to be strained and difficult, he's secretly looking forward to seeing her. Vermont is a beautiful place to live, but living there by yourself with no one to share it with can be excruciatingly lonely. However he has every intention of returning to Vermont, despite the solitude- because he knows that he cannot remain in DC and watch Liv move on with another man. And there's no doubt in his mind that she will move on; she's young, fun and incredibly beautiful, she's bound to be swept of her feet by someone a lot more suited to her, and more importantly she deserves it- he wants her to be happy, that's all he ever wanted- and yes, for a brief moment of madness he believed he was the person that held the keys to her happiness, as she held his... but he was wrong, so very wrong and now he has to live with the fact that he has ending up hurting her in the process. He's truly sorry, and that is why he needs to apologise to her in person; because somehow, he has to make this right with her.

He decides that seeking out Liv first is the best plan of action, so he avoids the hospital for now- not wanting to risk bumping into Eli or Maya, because one of them is bound to give the game away to Liv once they discover he's back. So he decides to head over to her house instead, hoping to catch her there in between shifts.

When he knocks the door, Quinn greets him on the other side, looking almost shell shocked, she can't believe it... "Fitz, what are you doing here?"

"Hi Quinn, good to see you too- I came to see Liv, if she's in..."

"She's not here." She replies abruptly. When their romance first started out, Quinn had been Liv and Fitz's biggest cheerleader, but after all the heartache he's put Liv through, she can't help but feel hostile towards him...

"Is she at the hospital?"

Quinn is reluctant to say, because she knows Liv will loose her head when she see's him- and right now the scan and the the results of the scan should be her top priority. The last thing Liv needs is for Fitz to show up and throw a massive wrench into the works. But then on the flip side, there's a good chance that she is carrying his baby, and maybe she will need his support more than ever now. So Quinn relents and tells him where she is...

"Her shift starts at six".

Fitz looks down at his watch; so she should already be there he thinks... He thanks Quinn and turns to leave, but before he makes it out the gate- Quinn call out to him and warns... "Whatever you're planning Fitz- don't hurt her again..."

-X-

In a daze, Liv walks back into AAU... Following Quinn's advice she had the scan done... Well, at least she's no longer in the dark over who the father is... Although, how she feels about it is a different matter entirely. The results of the scan has left her reeling; heart pounding, head spinning; she is so overwhelmed that she is starting to feel faint- She must look it too- because as soon as Franklin spots her, he rushes over to her panicked... "Liv, Liv... Are you okay? He quickly guides her to a seat... "Liv, what's happened?"

She shakes her head, in denial... "Nothing, i'm fine..." she lies, but Franklin refuses to take her word for it... "Forget it Liv, I'm taking you up to maternity right now..."

"No", she protests... "The baby is fine... (She had seen that for herself) I just need a minute..."

And it's in that minute, for the second time today, her world is flipped over on its head...

Because Fitz; who has been looking all over the ward for her- finally spots her. But the fact that she's hunched over and with a man he doesn't recognise, rubbing her back and fussing all over her, it doesn't sit well with him at all, and only serves to trigger his protective instincts... His well rehearsed and carefully planed out approach completely forgotten, as he immediately rushes over to her, ready to offer his assistance and help... "What's wrong Liv?"

Flabbergasted... all she can do is raise her head and stare at him in utter disbelief... whilst a voice in the back of her head whispers incensed...

_What's wrong? What's wrong?!... You Fitz, YOU, and the fact that this baby is yours... that's what's wrong with me! _


	12. Chapter 12

Dear readers, shamefully I recently came to realise that I had left this story hanging for almost a year. I'm so sorry, honestly I don't know where the time went. Sometimes I have no control of my writing block and finding time to sit and write is also a major factor that contributes to delays. But finally, the spark has returned and I'm hoping it will last long enough to allow me to finish this story off. We shall see.

**Part 12**

Liv can barely look at him and in response, dismissively, she turns away from him and addresses Franklin solely. She gives him the look, the same look her mum used to give her as a small child, the one that spells... _leave it alone, this is not the time or place.._ And just in case he doesn't read the message loud and clear, she reinforces it verbally... "I'm fine Franklin- I need to get back to my shift". And without further explanation to either man; Fitz especially, she gets up and quickly walks away; away from the train crash her life had become

Fitz had been expecting a frosty reception, of which he had been fully prepared for, but what he had not anticipated was coming face-to-face with a man that was clearly carrying a torch for the very same woman he was. She's moved on fast, he thinks savagely, unjustly too... because at the end of the day, what did he expect her to do... sit and pine away for him?

Focusing on his new competition, although doing his best to ignore his rival's winning attributes, such as- his youth, his well defined physique, his boyish good looks, and the fact that he appears to be a trainee doctor, _plus_\- he's black (yes, he would literally be Eli's ideal son-in-law), he decides to question him on Liv's disheveled appearance instead... "Is she really okay?"

Pulled from his own troubled thoughts, Franklin eyes this stranger up and down. Granted, it appears that he knows Olivia, however, he has never clapped eyes on him... "Excuse me, but you are?"

"_Oh_, of course, I'm Professor Fitzgerald Grant- I used to work here and I'm a close friend of Liv's father..."

Realisation suddenly dawns on him; he does recall his name; he had heard talk of the famous Professor, apparently World Renown for his work in Anesthesiology and Critical care. Choosing to loose his defensive stance, he shakes his offered hand... "Nice to meet you Professor, I've heard great things..."

"And you are?"

"Sorry, I'm Franklin Russell- SHO".

_Just as he thought- trainee doctor._

"And Liv?" Fitz presses- he's had enough of formalities; at the minute he's far more concerned about what is going on with Liv, than anything else to do with this man...

"What's wrong with her?"

xXx

"What the hell was he doing here? _Why now?_ Why did this baby have to be his? _Had she not suffered enough? _I hate him!_ I love him... _Why is he back? _How could he do this to her..._ how could he send her away...

Her resolve is unravelling fast, and she is struggling to breath; just like her thoughts, it's completely erratic. Realising she on the verge of a panic attack- there's no way she can return straight to the ward; not in this state, so she slips into the staff room instead. Grateful to find it empty, she quickly locks the door behind her and rest her back against it, as she attempts to take a deep breath, before exhaling slowly... She repeats this a few more times, until gradually, she begins to calm down and regather herself.

_"What was she supposed to do now?_

In the space of 9 weeks, she has endured a tirade of emotions and turmoil. She had gone from experiencing love in its truest and purest form, to then being subjected to the worse rejection she had ever faced in her life; followed closely by feelings of inconsolable loss, turbulent anger and suffocating loneliness, and then almost thoughtlessly, she allowed herself to get lost in the solace of another man's bed... But if that wasn't enough, fate had to go and serve up the Mother of all life changing events... _this baby._

Subconsciously, her hand runs over her belly. She feels so stupid, because for the second time in her life she finds herself pregnant, and for a man that no longer wants her in his life. The last time she was presented with this scenario, she had felt backed into a corner, with no other choice but to have an abortion. This time however, she honestly doesn't know what to do for the best.

If she revealed the truth to Fitz- would he pressure her to get rid it, like Edison did? Maybe Fitz would deny the baby was even his? Or, if she did choose to have it, would he force her to keep the paternity of the baby secret, hidden from her father, her mother, from everyone, including the child itself. Just as long as no judgement was placed upon his squeaky clean reputation, _right?_ God forbid, because it's been hard enough keeping their affair a secret- let alone something as big as this.

The man she fell in love with, she had believed to be honourable... but the man that sent her packing, after taking what he wanted from her... that man was unpredictable, a coward, selfish and cruel. She could never trust him again.

_If only it was Franklin's baby, this would be easier_

Poor guy; he didn't deserve to be dragged into all of this mess. He was a good man, a man that would not hesitate to step up to his responsibilities and offer his support both freely and willingly. Franklin could be relied upon- he would never leave her to raise their child on her own...

_Can she honestly say the same for Fitz?_

Sadly, with so little faith in him- she can't. So, consequently she is left with some serious thinking to do and a massive decision to make on her own. And it's a decision that she has to make pretty soon, before Fitz, or anyone else finds out. Because this time round she refuses to be coerced into something she will live to regret. This was her body, her choice.

xXx

Much to his chagrin, he gets very little information from Franklin. Although, fundamentally, the only person he should be speaking to is Liv... that's if she's even willing to hear him out. He doesn't know how to feel- after seeing Franklin with her... he was shocked to say the least, jealous too- but he's trying not to allow those feelings to overshadow his reasons for coming back. He needs to remember that be came back to atone for his behaviour and make sure she's alright, nothing more, nothing less. He must hold firm to that.

Deciding that maybe the hospital is probably not the best place to have this conversation with Liv, he navigates his way back to the car park, with ease... Enjoying the familiarity of his old stomping ground, it's apparent that he misses the place, but he really can't afford to be sentimental about it- because once he's spoken with her, he has every intention of going back to Vermont. How can he stay? How can be bring himself to watch her move on with someone else- he just can't. In his lifetime he's had a number of crosses to bare, this is one he can do without.

He gets into his Jag and heads home. Having left his house empty for the past two months, there's a fair bit he needs to sort out; the mail for one. Plenty to keep himself busy until her shift ends and they can talk properly.

xXx

After what feels like the longest shift of her life- wearily, Liv makes her way home. She hasn't seen Fitz since abruptly walking away- and luckily Franklin has had the grace to leave her alone too, although she's suspects he been looking out for her from a distance, either way she was grateful for the short reprieve. She wasn't quite ready to bring his world to his knees, she was feeling terrible enough.

She gets back to find the flat empty, which she is thankful for... Quinn, was bound to ask her for the results of the scan- and for now, she wanted to keep the news to herself. She needed some time and space to get her head around it all. So, after a quick soak in the bath, she puts on her pyjamas and curls up into bed. Considering how busy her head is, to her surprise, she doses off almost immediately... Only to be awaken a few hours later, by a persistent knocking at the door.


	13. Chapter 13

To make up for my tardiness last year, here's another part for you.

**Part 13**

"Liv, I know you're in there... _please_, let me in..."

He can literally hear the cogs turning in her head, as she decides whether or not to open the door.

"I just want to talk..." He adds in a steady tone, hoping to mask his vulnerability an anxiety from his voice. Because he is scared; scared that she may never let him in again. _Eventually_, and much to his relief, he starts to hear the familiar rattle of the chain, before the unlatching of the door. Thank goodness he thinks, although acutely aware that the hardest part is yet to come.

_"Hi..."_

_She really doesn't want to do this with him..._ "Why are you here Fitz?" To his ears she sounds exhausted and to his eyes she looks fragile and unsure of herself. And he's never felt more guilty, for he knows he's the cause of it all. He wishes he could simply reach out to her, to pull her into his arms whilst he apologises to her, over and over again, but he knows he can't... _She wouldn't let him get that close again..._ "Can, I come in?"

"It depends?"

"Depends on what?"

"If you've come here to hurt me..."

His heart literally sinks to the floor, whilst his self-loathing begins to steadily rise to the surface... "Liv, I'm so sorry."

_"Aren't we all?"_ She sighs, revealing her own regrets.

Against her better judgement, she chooses to step aside and let him in... "You better come in, before I change my mind..." she cautions.

Not wanting to test that theory, wordlessly, he follows her into the living room and takes the seat opposite to where she plants herself. _"So..."_ she begins, breaking the budding silence between them... "You came to talk, _so talk..._ Although, I don't quite know what else there is left to say, you made it abundantly clear that we couldn't be together... so unless you've changed your mind, I don't really see why you're here?"

With eyes downcast, struggling to find the right words, he cracks his knuckles to release some of the tension. She can sense his nervousness, and with a patience she doesn't even know she possess, or that he deserves, she gives him a moment to collect himself and his thoughts... When he appears ready to finally get it off his chest, to say what needs to be said, he looks over at her and with such strong intensity it throws her off base a little... "Liv, since you left, I've been struggling with the way I treated you, if I'm honest, from the moment you climbed into that cab and drove away, I realised I had made a mistake."

She swallows... "What are you saying Fitz?"

"What I'm saying is... I panicked. I should have waited; sat down and discussed it with you properly, before even booking that flight. I should have given you the courtesy you deserved, but I didn't."

"No, you didn't... instead you treated me like a _child!_ One minute I was your equal, the _WOMAN_ you had made love to, and then the next- you had completely overruled and undermined me. It was if I had no say in what I wanted, or how I felt about the situation..."

"I know Liv, and I'm sorry... I was wrong."

_"Wrong?"_ She doesn't dare hope, but she needs to know exactly what he means by that statement... "_Wrong_\- as in how you went about it, or wrong about the decision you made to end it..."

"I was wrong about the way I approach it..." he clarifies, knowing it's not what she wants to hear... "_Liv_, I still believe the decision I made to end it was right..."

Suddenly feeling chocked up, she just nods her head in understanding, because she understands all too perfectly now.

_Nothing has changed, so why come back Fitz?_

"I'm sorry..."

"I thought you said, you didn't come here to hurt me..."

_"Liv..."_

"_NO!_ You've said you piece, now it's my turn to speak..." Her lip is trembling, fighting desperately against the onslaught of her tears, but she presses on regardless... "When I got back, I spent weeks reliving our first night together, and as much as I wanted to convince myself it was all a lie, I just couldn't... Because, I knew the truth! That night wasn't even about sex- it was about two lost souls uniting and finally coming together..." She's crying openly now, but she doesn't care... "Fitz, you gave me a part of you that night, that you can _NEVER_ take back... and the only reason, _the only reason_ you let me go, was because you were scared of what my father would think... And in that moment of cowardliness, you destroyed us... _And for what Fitz?_ A lifetime of loneliness and despair...?"

Her emotions are so raw and she's cutting so close to the bone, that it's bringing him to his knees... "Maybe you're right Liv... but none of that matters now- like you said the damage is already done, I destroyed us, _right?_ Because the ugly truth is, I destroy _everything_ I touch... it's what I do best... If anything Liv, I did you a favour by letting you go..."

_"Stop it!"_ Despite everything he's put her through, she can't bear the depths of his self-deprecation...

But there's no stopping him; after weeks of solitude and bottled up emotions it's all spilling out... "Who was I kidding, thinking I could have you... _I AM a coward!_ I don't have the strength to admit that I love you... I'm not that guy... I'm too broken, _far too damaged_ for someone like you..."

"Fitz please..."

There's a catch to his voice, as he adds bitterly... "I'm not surprised that you moved on... _Franklin_... He looks like a decent guy; smart, good looking, confident... You deserve a man like him, someone who will not hesitate to profess their love to you Liv..."

"But I don't love him..." she admits.

"_You will,_ and if not him, then some other man, when you find out that he can give you more than I _EVER_ could..."

He gets up, needing to retreat... he's done what he came to do- why prolong this torture... But she rises to her feet too, challenging him... "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to Vermont... I only came back to apologise to you in person, to try and explain myself, and to make sure you were alright..."

"But you haven't asked me if I'm alright!"

"Please Liv, I don't want to play any games..." he sounds tired now; bereft of the energy that it takes to keep up with her... _Besides_, he doesn't see the point in asking if she's okay; because he knows she is... She's moved on, whereas he can't. With a heavy heart, he turns away from her and makes his way towards the front door... _Enough is enough_, he thinks; but she seems unwilling to drop it and relentlessly follows him out.

"I'm not playing games Fitz, just ask me... ask me if I'm okay?" She cries out to him.

He tries to ignore her anguish; he honestly can't face it, so instead, he focuses on opening the door... But before he can make a run for it, she spins him around to face her, to face her truth... _"Ask me?"_

He echo's her words from earlier... _"Stop it Liv!"_

"No, I won't..." He cannot fault her determination, in fact he admire's it, he always has, but in the end it's those teary red rimmed eyes of hers, that finally causes him to fold.

"Okay... fine.._._ _Liv, are you alright?_"

There's that lip again, quivering, as she plucks up the courage to confesses... "No Fitz, I'm not alright, because you see... I'm pregnant."


	14. Chapter 14

_**Okay, I really am trying to finish this story...**_

**Part 14**

_"What's going on here?"_

Startled by the intrusion, Liv nearly jumps out of her skin... She had been so focused on Fitz, that she failed to notice Franklin approaching. Neither had Fitz, and by the looks of it, he still hasn't; for he is still blown away by her revelation. In fact, he only acknowledges the young man, when he brushes past him, and drapes his arm across Liv's shoulders. Unable to control himself, he finds himself cringe, as Franklin plants a kiss to her temple and then innocently questions her about the tale end of their conversation... "Liv, I thought you wanted to wait a while, before announcing the pregnancy?"

_So he knows too? So that must mean..._ Fitz searches Liv's face for answers, but he comes up with nothing. No surprise really, because he knows her well enough to see that she's emotionally shut down.

Is that because she hiding something from me, or him, he wonders...

"Fitz is a friend of the family," she offers as an explanation to Franklin.

"Yes, we met yesterday at the hospital , didn't we Professor..."

"Yes, we did..." For some reason, his instincts are telling him to play along with the rouse... _Well_, at least until he gets to the bottom of all this... "After our conversation, I thought it would be best to check up on Liv after her shift this morning..."

Funnily enough, that's why Franklin came by too. "You still not feeling well?" He fusses, making her feel uncomfortable under his scrutiny. Fitz senses it too- only now, it's blindingly obvious that Franklin's protective display, is borne from the belief that Liv's baby is his...

Is Franklin the father? Or was he the father of Liv's baby? _Did Liv even know?_ The burning desire to find out the truth, is simply agonising, but he realises that there's very little chance of him finding out anything right now; not with Franklin here, and not unless he plans to expose their affair. _Which he won't._ Therefore, the waiting game begins.

Both seemingly aware that they are at a stalemate, Fitz makes his excuses to leave. Although, not before making it clear (in a round about way) to Liv, that he'll be back... He won't be returning to Vermont in a hurry either. He wouldn't dream of going back, not until he's certain of the baby's paternity; because if he is the father, it changes everything. And from her reaction (almost relieved) by his plans to stay longer, it suggests she understands his reasons behind it too... _After all_, the pair had just gained even more unfinished business.

Before getting into his car to leave, the only thing that she asks of him, is that he exercises his discretion- especially around the hospital; as she confirms that she has yet to tell her parents about her pregnancy. He had already assumed as much- because notoriously Liv's parents were always the last ones to find out when she was in trouble. _Although_, under these present circumstances, he can appreciate her reluctance in telling them. Even if you placed the paternity issues aside, Eli and Maya were never going to be happy about this pregnancy. From their point of view, their daughter's life had finally got back on track- and now this baby would threaten to ruin all of that.

_Did Liv feel the same way?_ Was this baby too much of a burden to bear? Could she actually be considering an abortion? The thought of her having to go through that again leaves him feeling very uneasy.

_This was all his fault;_ he blames himself entirely. Firstly, for his carelessness in the matter; although, when he moved to Vermont, he didn't see the need to pack such prophylactics, _why would he?_ When the only woman he wanted in that way, had been left behind DC... And secondly, by him pushing her away in such an untimely fashion, his actions had inevitably provoked her into another careless tryst with Franklin. Either way, whether this baby was his or not, he recognises the pivotal role he's played in all this.

He had screwed up big time.

xXx

As soon as Fitz leaves, Franklin finds he has a few questions for Liv regarding the meddling Professor. He can't quite place his finger on it, but something about him and Liv seems amiss.

This unease begun after he bumped into Eli late yesterday evening. Eli has been trying to pin Liv down for dinner plans, to celebrate he and Maya's wedding anniversary. Naturally assuming that their anniversary had been the reason for he Professor's impromptu visit... He had said to Eli... "_Aaaah_, so that's why the Professor is back?"

_"Professor?"_ Eli had scrunched up his brow in momentary concussion. _First of all,_ _what did Franklin know of his friendship with Fitz? And what did he mean by he's back? _

"Fitzgerald Grant is here?"

"Yes Sir, he was down in AAU when I last saw him..."

"When was that?"

"A couple of hours ago... did you not know he was back?"

"No, I did not..." he retorted skeptically. _If Fitz was in town, why had he not informed him of his visit, or better yet, come in search of him at the hospital... or even Maya for that fact? _

Although Eli didn't necessarily share his inner thoughts with Franklin, he could tell he was a bit thrown by his friends return, but at the time, he just brushed it aside. It was only when he showed up at Liv's flat, to find the Professor on her door step, caught in the middle of what appeared to be a highly charged exchange... did he think back to the conversation he had with Eli, but also his recollection of Liv's complete lack of interest, or what could be construed as deliberate dismissal of the Professor, when he approached her in the hospital.

But then; in complete contrast to her earlier behaviour, he walks in on her telling him that she's pregnant. Come to think of it, none of it seems to add up?

After making them both a hot drink, they settle down on the sofa together. _"So..." _He begins_. "_I take it you and the Professor are close then?"

"You could say that..." Liv replies carefully, before taking a small sip of her beverage.

"Although, you wouldn't think it by the way you ignored him at the hospital yesterday..." he pries.

"He caught me at a bad time Franklin, you both did... I was stressed..." She admits.

"Stressed about what?"

"Oh for goodness sake Franklin..." she steams, obviously frustrated with his line of questioning... _"What is this?!_ The Spanish Inquisition? Can you just drop it please?" She slams her mug down onto the coffee table and rises to her feet, prepared to walk away, but he reaches out, stopping her in her tracks... "_Look_, don't go... I'm sorry, I don't mean to upset you, I'm just worried about you..."

She relents, mainly because she is keenly aware of just how incredibly unfair she's being- he's done nothing wrong here... She was the guilty party, not him.

_"No..."_ she sighs, taking her seat again. "I'm the one who should apologise, I know I've been impossible to deal with- it's just been a lot..."

"I wish you would just talk to me Liv, I've tried to remain patient with you, I really have, but I can't help but feel that you're trying to shut me out... This is my baby too you know, so why can't you just let me be there for you?"

His words unravel her, bringing fresh tears to her eyes. She's so tired, so sick of all the lies. It's starting to take a heavy toll on her and she realises that she cannot carry on like this, she has to come clean... "You're right Franklin... I have been shutting you out..."

_"_Why_?"_

_"Because, I_ _messed_ _up_..."

She has his full attention now. "Liv, you're scaring me... messed up how?" _  
_

_"You see... _I wasn't completely honest with you, because I knew there was a chance that this baby could be somebody else's..."

_"Whaaa... what?_"

Unable to look at him, she ruefully carries on... "Yesterday I had a scan to confirm my suspicions... And as it turns out I'm nine weeks along…' She swallows… "I'm so sorry Franklin, but this is not your baby."

His shock is evident, it's clear that he is struggling to accept what she's just told him… _"I'm not the father?'_

"No…" she answers remorsefully, bracing herself for what's to come. He looks at her for a very long time, words failing him… failing them both really, as she knows there is nothing she can say to put his right again.

Finally, at long last, he asks, looking ashen… "Who is the father?"

Her face is wet with tears. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry. _But I can't._"

_"Do you know who the father is?"_ She should probably take offence to that, but at this precise moment in time, her guilt outweighs her pride, so she chooses to overlook his barb… "Yes, I know who the father is, I was with him before we met, but it ended, so…"

"Have you told him?"

_"Why does that even matter Franklin?"_ She snaps at him in frustration, but then immediately regrets doing so, because she has no right to lash out at him. However, he doesn't even give her the chance to apologise; instead resolutely, he gets up from the couch and grabs his jacket… "You're right Liv, it doesn't matter… I guess it's not my problem anymore, _is it?_ It's yours…"


	15. Chapter 15

**Part 15**

"So when were you going to tell me you were back?"

"Hello Eli..."

"Don't you hello me Fitzgerald Grant... _Imagine_, I had to find out you were back from Liv's new boyfriend!" He rants, although there is a definite jest to his tone, putting Fitz at ease.

"Eli, I can only apologise... it's been a busy couple of days..."

"_Oh_, never mind all that; I tell you what, you can make it up to me by gracing us with your presence tonight, all you need to do is bring a bottle with you; _the good stuff mind..._ As we shall be celebrating!"

Even though his whole world seems to be crumbling around his feet, somehow, he manages to fathom a smile... He really does miss their comradery. "_Yes of course_, how could I possibly forget your anniversary old pal..."

"Less of the "_old_" pal... But, yes... we would love to have you over..."

He was going to live to regret this, he's sure of it... But if this baby turns out to be his, this could be his last opportunity to spend time with his best friend in companionable ease... "What time do you want me over?"

"Oh, let's say around 7.30ish..."

"I'll be there..."

xXx

Liv had an hour left to her shift and then she was heading over to her folks for dinner. Twenty-three years of marriage was quite an achievement. _Sadly_, with her track record, she could only hope to aspire to such a union.

Although, there was a time that she had believed that she had found that with Fitz... No good dwelling on that, she thinks; that boat had set sail two months ago. Nevertheless, she had more pressing matters to iron out with Fitz now... like this baby for one.

The last few days have been quite the rollercoaster. She's glad that she bit the bullet and told Franklin the truth. Granted, telling him wasn't easy, but it did serve to remove a massive weight off her shoulders... She has seen him in passing a few times during her shift today; he had kept his distance, not wanting to speak to her, but he wasn't nasty to her either- so for that she is thankful. And as fate would have it, he's on a two-week surgical rotation with paediatrics, which happens to be based on the other side of the hospital. Ideal really, because it means the chances of them having to work together for the rest of this week is minimal. He's probably just as grateful for that as she is.

As for Fitz; since she told him about the pregnancy, he has only messaged her once; to reaffirm that he will remain in DC, until they can arrange a time to meet and discuss the paternity of her child. His message had felt so clinical and impersonal that it got her hackles raised. Incensed, she had been tempted to message back, a Maury Povich inspired... "YOU ARE THE FATHER!" But then she thought better of it- and replied with a less evasive "_fine_" instead. Even if she was annoyed with him, he didn't deserve to find out like that.

On that front, she's decided that she's giving him two days. Conscious of the type of man she is dealing with, and his tendency to unpick and over analyse everything before making a move, she suspects that he will need a few days to sort his head out. So, she will grant him that small token of reprieve. But, if she doesn't hear from him by the weekend, then she will take the bull by the horns and lay it all out on the line.

Until then, for tonight at least, she plans to forego all the drama- and simply enjoy her evening with her parents.

xXx

She was running a bit late, but it was totally worth it... After getting back and having quick a shower, Liv had made up her mind, to dress up and make a real effort tonight... She figured that whilst the physical signs of her pregnancy remained at bay, she should really make the most of her figure. _So_, having picked out one of her favourite slinky black numbers; pleasantly surprised to find that it still clung to her in all the right places, she tonged her hair and carefully applied her make up. Pleased with the end result; and receiving that all-important thumbs up from Quinn, she jumped in her Uber and headed over.

"Happy anniversary Mum..." Beaming brightly, Liv hands over a bottle of red, which Maya accepts, before pulling her in for a hug...

"My darling, you look simply stunning... _Dare I say_, it's like looking in a mirror..." She chuckles, taking her by the hand and leading her into the dining room...

_"Guess who's here!?"_

"Hey Sweetpea..." Drying his hands in a tea towel and smiling from ear to ear, Eli exits the kitchen and walks over to her, placing a kiss to each of her cheeks... "You're late Missy..."

"I'm sorry Dad..."

"Don't worry; you're forgiven... _besides_, you weren't the only one late..."

"_Oh Really?_ Who else is here?"

And, as if on cue, Fitz enters the room...

Caught completely off guard, her heart misses a beat. As does his; only his skips for an entirely different reason... The sight of her has taken his breath away... _"Hi"_.

Recognition sinking in fast, she blushes involuntarily... For she knows that look all too well, he's undressing her with his eyes... _"Hi"._

In that moment, it is as if they are the only two people in the room.

Oblivious to what is taking place in his own house... Focused solely on the dinner now, Eli rubs his two hands together in excitement; because finally, they can eat... "_Right then_, let's get this dinner served... _Fitz?_"

_"Ah... ah... yes?"_

"Pour Liv a drink; Maya with me in the kitchen please..."

"Coming dear".

xXx

Dinner passes by without incident. Well, as far as Liv is concerned... Her appetite was back, and she had eaten with gusto. And in the spirit of celebration, she had also afforded herself a glass of wine... With the dishes clear, and her parents in the kitchen sorting out desert, she reaches for the open bottle to top up her glass... However, Fitz stops her, by hovering his hand above the rim of her glass... _"What are you doing?"_ He whispers in disdain.

Not a fan of his tone, she tells him to move his hand. But he refuses... "You shouldn't be drinking Liv".

"_Oh_, so now you want to acknowledge my pregnancy... give me a break Fitz..." She tries to prise her glass away from him, but it's clear that he has the upper hand in the situation, and prevents her from doing so... "What is your problem?" She seethes.

"My problem is your total disregard for this baby..."

_"Don't you dare!"_

"Is it mine?"

_She can't believe his audacity!_ Taking a brief peak over his shoulder, making sure that the coast is clear, she retorts... "Are you _seriously_ trying to do this here?"

"If you insist on drinking, then yes..."

"_Fine_, no more wine... but you and I are going to finish this later..."

"That's fine by me".

"Anyone for dessert?" Maya announces merrily.

xXx

"_Well_, it's been a pleasure, but I'm afraid it's time I made a move". Fitz declares, rising to his feet.

"I suppose it is getting late..." Eli agrees, following suit... "_Well my friend..._ It's been far too long, I've missed you; that's why I must implore you to move back to DC..."

"Eli, leave the poor man be... you've been pressing him all night..." Maya opens her arms to receive him... "Come here you?"

Fitz walks into her embrace. "Thanks Maya, and congratulations once again..."

While they hug it out, Eli quickly turns his attention to his daughter... "_Liv_, you might as well catch a lift back with Fitz, don't you think?"

She looks at Fitz pointedly, as she replies to her father... "Great minds think alike Daddy, I was just about to ask Fitz for a lift myself..." If he thinks he's getting out of this one tonight, he has another thing coming, she tells herself.

After another round of goodbyes and "see-you-laters", the pair finally exit the house. Without a single exchange, both climb into his jaguar and secure their seat belts. The tension between them is so thick, it's close to suffocation, but taking courage, Fitz breaks the silence first. Firing up the engine, he turns and faces her head on... "So, where do you want to do this?"

"Yours".


	16. Chapter 16

**Part 16**

The silence in the car had been unbearable. And it continued in the same vain until they entered his house. Familiar with the layout of the house, Liv makes her way into the living room, whilst he strides straight over to the liquor cabinet, and pours himself a large brandy.

She's the first to speak… "I take it, you won't be offering me one." It is obvious that she still wound up from their earlier encounter…

"What do you think?" He scoffs.

_"Why do you even care?"_

He cares more than she knows, but for now he's keeping those cards close to his chest... "_I care_, because as far as I know this child could be mine…" He pauses. "_So_, I shall ask you again Liv… Is this baby mine?"

_"Do you want it to be yours?"_ She is aware that she's being difficult, petulant too, but she can't help it. She's hurting, because deep down she knows this is the last thing he wants; he's probably praying that it's Franklin's.

"Don't play games with me Liv…"

"Why do you always assume I'm playing games? It's a simple question Fitz…"

"What do you expect me to say? That I'm happy about the pregnancy? Because I'd be lying if I said that I was, but I suspect you already know that… _Surely_, you must agree with me, if not, you would have told your parents by now, but you haven't?"

"You want to know what I think?"

"Go ahead."

She stares at him. "I think, that if you had been man enough to stand up for our love, or had the courage to stand up to my father, then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation at all… _Instead_, we would still be together, blissfully happy, living in Vermont and eagerly awaiting the birth of _our _child_…_"

The penny drops. He pauses, and then whispers…_ "So, it is my baby."_

"Yes," she confirms in a measured voice.

He knocks back his drink and sinks into his seat. He knew it, from the moment she told him she was pregnant, he knew it was his baby. _God, what a mess, he thinks_. Exasperated, he runs his hand over his face… _What were they going to do now?_

He looks over at her, and she looks back at him, uncertain and a little unsure. If she's hoping for guidance, then she's fresh out of luck, because for once in his life he really doesn't have the answers. Not anymore.

Nevertheless, he eventually asks… "What do you want to do?"

"I won't have an abortion, if that's what you're asking," she tells him firmly… "Don't get me wrong, I have thought about it, I was even considering it, but I don't think I can actually go through with it. _Not again_."

He nods his head in complete understanding, and then; with a level of sincerity, that genuinely rocks her, he states; "Liv, I hope you can believe me when I say, I would _never_ ask you to do that. This is your body, so your choice." Obviously moved, and relieved by his reaction, she starts to well up. After her past experience, he can appreciate her worry, but she needn't be. He may be a coward, but heartless he is not. And regardless of their messy relationship, he still loves and cares for her, and as much as the idea of this baby scares the hell out of him, he is not capable of subjecting her to that sort of pain again.

However, despite his level of compassion and consideration, none of it deters from the impact this news is having on him. This was heavy stuff. Taking his tumbler with him, he gets up and heads back over to the bar. Silently, Liv watches on, as he pours himself another drink, necks it and then pours himself another. Lost in his thoughts, he is struggling to digest it all. A year ago, if someone had said, that in seven months he would become a father again for the second time in his life, he would have laughed in their face… And yet, here he was, about to have a baby with his best friends daughter. He cannot begin to convey the level of betrayal he feels towards his friend. And sadly, much to Olivia's detriment, he has spent far too long trying to hide his feelings for her, all in an futile attempt to protect his friendship with Eli. He had put them though all of that heartache for nothing. All of it, pointless, because he cannot hide the fact that Liv is carrying his baby now, not without destroying her in the process. And he's hurt her enough.

Which means only one thing... "We need to tell your parents." He says, flatly.

Shocked to hear him say it, she stares at him in sheer disbelieve. She was half expecting him to offer her a financial agreement, in exchange for her silence. Anything to stop her father from finding out the truth… _Not this…_ But she has to ask: "And how do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? I'm petrified."

"Me too". She confesses; she is just as scared as he is. "Dad's going to blow".

He swirls the amber liquid around in the tumbler, staring at it pensively... "He's never going to forgive me… He's never going to understand…"

She smiles at him weakly. "How can we possibly expect Dad to understand? When I barely understand it myself…"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about you and me, Fitz... We're having a baby, but where does that leave us?"

He swallows… "Liv, now is not the time…"

"Actually, I think it's the perfect time…"

"What do you want from me Liv?" He looks exhausted and sounds it too; but she sees it as a way in. The culmination of the evening's events and the alcohol running through his system it has lowered his defences; she can sense it. Not only that, but the way he has responded to the news, has renewed her faith in him in ways he wouldn't even be able to comprehend. _Did they still stand a chance?_ Only one way to find out, she thinks. So bravely, she gets up from her seat and stalks towards him, determined to make him see sense.

"I think you already know what I want Fitz… _I want you…_ I haven't stopped wanting you…" She confesses truthfully.

_"Liv…"_ He looks away; but she frames his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her… "Stop fighting it, stop fighting us… I know you still love me… and from the way you were looking at me tonight, I know you still want me too… _So why keep denying yourself?_ I'm having your baby Fitz; we can't hide anymore… And why should we? We've done nothing wrong…"

"Please Liv, it's not that simple…"

"Oh, but it is." _She refuses to give up._ If it means exposing her own vulnerability, to get the response that she desires from him, then she will do whatever it takes… _"Don't you want me?"_

What she does next, is risky, because there is a good chance that she may face rejection to her advances, but for some reason her feminine instincts are driving her forward.

Slowly and intentionally, she slides her hand underneath his top. _"Stop…"_ He protests, but the intensity in his eyes, and tension on his face tells her otherwise. Therefore, she remains bold in her pursuit... "If you don't want this, then all you need to do is step away, Fitz! That's all you need to do," she repeats, softly stroking him, enjoying the hair-roughened texture of his skin, reveling in the way his muscles stiffen beneath her touch, sensing how aroused he is.

He should step away, but he knows that he can't. He is powerless to her touch.

The tiny hairs at the back of his neck stand to attention as she inches in even closer; her lips just a hair's breath away from his… She wants to kiss him so badly, but she won't; not until she knows for sure… She needs to hear him say it; she needs his reassurance that this time round, he's going to be it for the long haul, and not just for the night…

_"Do you love me?"_

He won't lie to her, he can't, not in this moment… "I love you Liv," he whispers... "I've never stopped loving you".

Her heart soars. She knew it all along, but to hear him say it, means everything. She stares up at him, with eyes glistening in unshed tears; there's only one more thing she needs know... "Then promise me Fitz, promise that after tonight you won't send me away again, but instead, you'll stand firm in your love and see this commitment through- with me, by your side... No matter what happens, we will stand and face our future together… Can you do that for us?"

He pauses, then, in a strangled voice says… "I promise."

And without another word, she lets him back in.


	17. Chapter 17

_**So, I have one more week off work, then I'm back to face the crazy children in my school. We've only had the most vulnerable in during lockdown, so I have been fortunate enough to work from home for the last 7 weeks. Last week I had no tasks left to complete- hence I picked this story back up- I hate unfinished business! I'm going to be honest, I don't think this is my best work, it's a bit rushed, but i'm on a short time frame here! I never find time to write whilst working at this school- its a behavioural school- so it's full on; so ideally I would like to get it finished before I return. So I apologise for any typo's in advance- I spend ages proof reading, but yet I find so many errors after I post, that it drives me nuts. But my aim is to finish this fic before the 1st June, so updates will continue to be regular.**_

_**Although, not too far to go now, if you've read a second chance, you'll know what I mean.**_

_**Take care, be safe and thanks to those who review- it really does serve as positive motivation! x**_

**Part 17**

They've been lying together for a while, not saying much, just enjoying the feel of each other's body. It's only their second time together, in what feels to them like ages, and it's been the most tender, the most loving of all: no barriers, no anxious desire to please… just re-connection and love.

From the build up to Vermont, to all that's transpired since Liv came back to DC, it's hard to believe that they are here now. Of course, they still have a lot to figure out, like: how and when they plan to tell her parents? Or whether they will stay in DC, or go back to Vermont…

Last night, Fitz brought up the subject of Franklin. He assured her, that his intention in bringing him up was not to make her feel awkward or bad, but only to ensure that he was out of the picture. She was honest, as she explained that after she had told him that the baby was not his, he was hurt and upset, and without further discussion about the state of their relationship, he had stormed out of her flat. As far as she's concerned they are over, but in fairness to Franklin, she still owed it to him to have that conversation. When asked if she had feelings Franklin, she admitted that she did care about him, he had been kind to her, but she was not in love with him. She had never been in love with him.

It was enough to put Fitz's fears aside.

He runs his hand over her belly. It blows his mind that he's about to be a father again. Although, he would be lying if he said the prospect of that didn't scare him. For one; he wasn't exactly a spring chicken, he was at the age where he would be expecting grandchildren, not children of his own. But his greatest concerns about becoming a father again stem from his strained relationship with his daughter Karen. He had made such a bad job of parenting her after her mother died, that it has raised serious doubts about his abilities as a parent. But unlike his usual approach, of burying his fears deep, and not sharing them with Liv; he is trying to face his worries head on, and part of that involves discussing the difficult stuff with Liv… Starting from now...

"I really do hope for this baby's sake, that this time round I will be a better parent".

She looks at him stunned and a bit saddened that he would think so little of himself. He's always been too hard on himself; it's something that she plans to address with him in due time. But in response to what he's just said, all she wants to do is reassure him that he has _nothing_ to be worried about… She places her hand on top of his. "Fitz, this child will be lucky to have you as a Father, just as I am luckily to have you as my lover, my partner and my friend… We all make mistakes, and what happened between you and Karen has been hard on both of you, but it also happened under very tragic circumstances; none of which was not your fault…"

"I know…" he replies wistfully, soaking up her words and rational.

She rests her head on his chest and hugs him even tighter, as she adds softly, "Your heart has always been in the right place Fitz, and it's a good heart, don't you ever forget that".

Truly touched, he leans forward and kisses her on her head. "Thank you," he breathes.

For a little while longer there just lay there in companionable silence. Fitz is drawing lazy circles on the delicate area of her nape, and she, snuggled underneath his arm finds herself rewarding him with soft intermittent kisses to his chest... She sighs in contentment, because for the first time in months, she feels at peace.

They've made some massive strides on this rocky path to love, and Liv recognises the personal lengths that Fitz has taken to get to this point in their relationship too. But she would be a naive to think that the road ahead is going to be any smoother. Does it worry her that a lot of their future rides on Fitz's ability to stay true to his promises, oh course it does- however, she wants to trust him.

When it came to her relationship with Fitz, and that of her father's, she has always known that they would have a battle ahead of them. And although the thought of it sometime frightens her, she has always been ready to fight for their love. She can only hope that this time round, Fitz will be ready too.

But right now, she can't help but feel selfish in wanting to simply enjoy this moment of bliss between them, uninterrupted, without interference from the outside world; just for a little while…

She rests her chin on his chest… "Fitz?"

"Yes".

"I've been thinking?"

_"Uh huh?"_

"Now, I know we decided that we wanted to hit the nail on the head with Dad straight away, which I agree should be done soon, but I'm also thinking, that maybe it can wait for a few more weeks…" At his raised eyebrow, she continues to explain… "_Okay_, so hear me out… most women don't announce their pregnancy until they're into their second trimester, and I was thinking that maybe we should wait until then to tell my folks…"

He's curious as to where this is coming from, "what's brought this on?"

"Well, I've only got three more weeks till my second trimester, and I thought, that maybe we can spend those three weeks, working on us, building us back up… without the extra added drama, _you know?_ What do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea too, we do need some time for us to grow… but Liv, I don't want you to think I'm only agreeing because I want to prolong the inevitable and avoid telling your father… I promised you that I would, and this time round I don't intend to break my promise… I won't let you down again."

"I hope not."

He smiles at her… "I mean it Liv… I love you, and I know I've been a coward and it's taken me a long time to get here, but I'm here now, and if I have to spend the rest of my life proving it to you, and this baby, then so be it… Because I want this, and most of all I want us to be happy."

She looks at him so intently, it's as if she's never seen him properly before, and then slowly, ever so slowly, she begins to smile as she raises herself up his body, to kiss him, so deeply, so probingly, that he can feel his desire for her surge through his body. So can she, but before they take it any further, she pulls away from him, and tells him with no uncertainty… "I love you Fitz".

xXx

For the next two weeks, working around Liv's shifts at the hospital the pair embark on a series of dinner dates. It's funny really, because most couples hang out and go on dates, long before choosing to settle down and have a baby… But to be fair, their relationship has been nothing but unconventional, so in a way it works for them. During this time, they've really had a chance to get to know each other properly, and they have found that outside all the angst and drama that they have been accustomed to, they really are compatible; well compatible in a quirky "opposites attract" sort of way. He's old, she's young; he's a morning person, and she's definitely a night owl… Her preferred dinner date, is sharing a large pepperoni pizza, curled up in front of the tele and his is a 5 star Michelin restaurant with all the courses. But no matter their difference, one thing remains the same, they love each other and they want this to work. Two nights ago, Fitz had summed their relationship up perfectly… Liv was the Ying to his Yang.

As for outside interference, it's been tricky, but as it stands, they have successfully managed to keep their budding romance under the radar; with the only exception being Quinn of course. Granted, it took about a week of groveling, before she finally gave in and forgave Fitz for all his misdemeanors, but now she has fully resumed her role in the Olitz fan club. In truth, she's been a great support to them both and an amazing friend to Liv.

Next week, Liv has her appointment for her twelve-week scan. And even though the event will also mark the end of their three-week grace period, they find they are more excited about seeing their baby together for the first time, than worried about the pending announcement to her folks. Because, not only have they grown as a couple over the past few weeks, but they have also grown as individuals. Liv sees a newfound confidence in Fitz these days, that is refreshing and, in many ways, damn right sexy, and in turn, his confidence has renewed a lot of her faith in him.

They believe, that as long as they can stay strong and stand tall together, then they will be able to face whatever life has to throw at them... her family included.


	18. Chapter 18

**Part 18**

It had been a busy morning on AAU, but by mid-afternoon the pace has slowed enough to give Liv a chance to sort through her case files. Buried so deep in her work, she fails to spot Quinn approaching fast, eager to gain her attention. Distracted, and with her head still bowed, Quinn gives her a quick nudge...

"One sec", she replies, but Quinn doesn't let up… "Liv!"

_"What?"_ she groans, finally looking up.

"Don't look now, but Franklin's heading your way…" she whispers discretely, before planting herself at the opposite nurse's station, in direct view of the impending exchange. To be fair, Liv had been expecting him. Franklin's time in Pediatrics was over and he was back on the AAU surgical roster, so it was only a matter of time before they bumped heads.

"Hello Liv."

"Hi Franklin, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks- _Umm_ _look_, my shifts about to start, but I was wondering if I could have a word with you first?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Not here," he tells her; he would rather speak to her in private, so he motions her towards an empty office. After a quick glance at Quinn, who gives her a questioning eye... She follows him in.

Be begins... "How have you been?".

"I'm doing well."

"And the baby?"

If she didn't know any better, he seems nervous… "As far as I know the baby is good, I've got my 12 week scan in a few days, so I'll find out more then."

"That's good…" He's staling, and he knows it- so he decides to just spit it out… "Last time we spoke, I was upset; the news about the baby had come as a huge shock and if I'm honest I was more disappointed than angry with you. What I said to you before I left, it was wrong of me and I want to _apol_…"

"Franklin, it's okay…" She tries to interject, but he doesn't want her to make any excuses for him… "_No Liv_, it was _not_ okay- it was uncalled for and ungentlemanly of me, and I would really hate for that to be your lasting impression of me… I'm really sorry Liv. "

She gives him a wan smile, "_Oh Franklin_, if anything I should be the one apologising to you. As soon as i found out I was pregnant, I should have been honest with you from the start, but I was scared, and I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure…"

He stares at her intently, "I've had a lot of time to think since then, and I get it, I really do…" He moves in closer… "I want you to know, that I'm here for you Liv, if you want me to be… Because, the truth is, I still care about you…"

Sensing the direction this is going in, Liv realises that she needs to put a stop to this right now, before it goes any further… "Franklin… you're a good man; I care about you too, and there's nothing I would like more than for us to put this all behind us and move forward, but _as friends…_"

"Friends… _Oh_, I see..." He's clearly disappointed, but she would be amiss if she didn't keep it 100% real with him; at the very least she owes him that… "Franklin, a lot of things have changed for me too since we last spoke…"

"Such as?"

"I told the father about the baby, and now, he and I are…"

"Back together…" He finishes off.

"Yes, we've decided to try again."

After a long pause, gutted, he says; "I understand, it makes sense- But I won't lie to you Liv, I was kind of hoping that maybe we could start over, baby and all, but obviously I've missed my chance now… _Anyway_, if he's the man who's going to make you happy, then I'm happy for you too…"

She feels bad because he really is a decent guy. She's certain that somewhere out there, there's a lucky girl just waiting for him to sweep her off her feet; _she_ _just_ _wasn't_ _that_ _girl_. At the end of the day, you can't make yourself feel something that you don't; she didn't love Franklin in that way, she couldn't, because she was still in love with Fitz.

Ultimately things have not worked out the way Franklin would have liked, but she's hoping it doesn't mean they can't still be friends.

As if reading her mind, he says; "_So…_ friends it is then?"

Relieved, she smiles at him brightly, thankful that they can remain amicable… "Yes, I would really like that."

xXx

The rest of the shift flies by, and now both Liv and Quinn are in the girl's locker room, getting ready to leave… In the spirit of their newly revised friendship, Franklin offers to buy both ladies a drink, a soft drink for Liv of course, but either way the round was on him. Liv doesn't have plans with Fitz tonight, so she sees no harm in going. And Quinn, as far as she was concerned, when a handsome man offers to buy you a drink, you don't say no, so she was more than happy to tag along.

As Quinn finishes applying the final touches to her makeup, Liv pops into the toilet for a wee… "I still can't believe how well he's taken all of this…" Liv says to Quinn across the bathroom stalls… "_I know, right?_ He's kinda perfect that Franklin…" Quinn muses, pursing her lips in the mirror, but then immediately spins round at the sound of her friend gasping in horror.

"_Liv?_" Frantic, she knocks against the toilet stall door…_ "Liv are you okay, open the door…."_

Visibly shaking, pants still at her ankles, Liv manages to lean over from the toilet stool and let Quinn in. Worry is etched all over her face, as she holds out her hand and shows her friend the tissue she had just wiped herself with; it is covered in bright red blood… "Call Fitz."

xXx

Franklin, who had been waiting for the ladies outside, is now wheeling Liv straight up to maternity, followed in close pursuit by Quinn, who as just got off the phone to Fitz… As soon as he gets through the doors to maternity, Franklin yells at a nurse to get Doctor Novak, whilst he and Quinn set Liv up in an empty patient room.

She's in shock and is barely speaking. "It's going to be okay Liv", Franklin tries to reassure her. However, growing concerned about how much she is bleeding, he tells Liv he's going to track down Doctor Novak himself, leaving her alone with Quinn.

Quinn quickly helps to undress her, gets her into a hospital gown and back up onto the gurney, ready to be examined… _"I'm scared Quinn,"_ Liv chocks out… Quinn squeezes her hand tightly, _"I know…"_ she replies, struggling to keep her own emotions in check.

"Did you get through to Fitz?"

"Yes, he's on his way Liv, he'll be here." she assures her.

Not long after, Franklin returns with James Novak in tow, the head of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. James is quick to examine her, and after performing an internal scan, it doesn't take him long to work out what the problem is… "Liv, the baby is fine, but it appears that you have a polyps growing outside of the womb which is causing the bleed, it's not life threatening, however it's caused your cervix to dilate, which is why you are in discomfort. I will need to take you into surgery immediately, to assess the site and to place a few stiches into the cervix- if not, your baby will be born, and it won't be viable…"

She eagerly nods her head in consent… "Go ahead, please… just save my baby."

Without further ado, Liv is prepped and taken straight into surgery.

Meanwhile, feeling like spare parts, only wishing they could do more, Quinn and Franklin make their way to the waiting room. Although Quinn, who is fully aware that Fitz may show up at any second, tries to persuade Franklin to go home and get some rest before his next shift… "Go on Franklin, I've got Liv covered", she tells him, but he refuses to leave; he's not prepared to go anywhere, not until he knows for certain that Liv and her baby will be okay…

This is not going to end well she thinks, and then, as if things couldn't get any more complicated, she spots Maya and Eli rushing into maternity, or in Eli's case storming in. Down on Olivia's notes as her next of kin, both of them had been paged to maternity, having been informed that their daughter is in surgery. If looks could kill- Franklin would be dead right now. Clearly assuming that Franklin is the reason as to why his daughter is even in the maternity ward, Eli immediately goes in on him. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Sir, please, I can explain…"

Eli is seething… "Explain what exactly? How you carelessly got my daughter pregnant? Or why my daughter is currently in surgery?!"

Maya, places her hand on her husband's arm, in a bid to calm him down… "Eli, stop it…"

"I will not stop it!" He turns his attention back to Franklin… "Go on then, explain yourself…"

Not knowing what to say for the best, Franklin looks to Quinn for guidance… But she's now staring at Fitz, who has just entered the ward. She actually feels scared for the man, but to her surprise he walks straight over; no hesitation, ready it seems to face all four of them.

Bravely, Fitz places himself in front of Eli, successfully drawing his concentration onto him and away from Franklin… "Leave him alone Eli, he's done nothing wrong… I'm the one you have the quarrel with, not him…"

Eli looks at him utterly perplexed, not quite registering what it is his friend of 30 years is saying to him, so Fitz takes courage and clarifies himself once and for all; leaving no question in his best friend's mind… "Franklin is not the father of Liv's baby- because I am!"


End file.
